How to Fight the Surveillance State by Cooperating With It

This is not the first time we have encountered the government’s desire to compile data on all of us, although people seem to have forgotten about the omniously-titled Total Information Awareness program. Once it started under Bush, it never really went away. Cue that Lord Acton quote about “absolute power,” ya-ta ya-ta ya-ta.

Way back in the early days of TIA, i.e. 2002, my friend Todd conceived of a patriotic means of helping the government keep tabs on all of us law-abiding folk. See, sifting through peta-, exa-, or even yottabytes of data takes a substantial investment of resources, and is likely to yield quite a few false leads. Besides that, they might miss a few emails in the process. In order to ensure that the government knows we are on the level, Todd proposed this:

I recently sent the following e-mail to President BushVice President Cheney, and Attorney General Ashcroft to inform them of my plan to do my part as a patriotic American in these fearful times: Continue reading

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This Whole Surveillance State Thing Is a BFD, But It Is Not News (UPDATED)

Things could be much, much creepier. Also, why would a top secret surveillance program need a logo?

Things could be much, much creepier. Also, why would a top secret surveillance program need a logo?

Last week, the Guardian, a British newspaper that devotes much of its space to reporting on bikini bodies [see update below], broke the story of the NSA’s surveillance program known as PRISM, in a series of articles that I suspect most people did not read. I certainly agree that this is a big deal, but some of the urgency behind the backlash against this program puzzles me. Is anyone honestly surprised by this? Do people not remember the past eleven years? Where has this level of outrage been up to now?

Of course, I think I know the answer to that last question, and it is similar to the newfound outrage people had over the TSA’s groping practices: now the “war on terror” is affecting us (and by “us” I mean affluent white people, mostly.)

Daniel Ellsberg, of the Pentagon Papers fame, is warning about the “United Stasi of America,” as if that is something that could happen tomorrow if we don’t do………something, I’m not sure what. The story has also given Glenn Greenwald, a writer I used to respect greatly, more opportunities at self-aggrandizement.

The simple fact is that most legislators have unclean hands in all of this, save a few. The revelation of this program’s existence gives us an opportunity to have a national dialogue about how much surveillance we are willing to accept in the name of “national security,” but I have my doubts that we’ll actually get to that discussion amid all the hysteria. Everything the White House has done was arguably authorized by the Uniting and Strengthening America by Providing Appropriate Tools Required to Intercept and Obstruct Terrorism (USA PATRIOT) Act, so the first thing Congress could do would be to repeal, or at least limit, that law. <crickets>

Here are a few relevant quotes from an update on the surveillance program offered by the Guardian, with my commentary:

Continue reading

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This is How We Know Obama is Capable of Mind Control

Mind_Control_by_ang_kaikIt turns out that the IRS bureaucrat mostly directly responsible for the IRS scandal is actually a self-described conservative Republican. This blows Darrell Issa’s purported scandal out of the water, as it would seem to demonstrate that this was not some campaign of persecution against conservative organizations orchestrated from on high by the White House, right?

Of course not!

As any good conservative in the year 2013 knows, Barack Obama is guilty of many, many crimes. We just have to figure out what they are.

If the individual who drove the IRS activities in Cincinnati is actually a conservative Republican, that just shows how powerful Obama’s White House really is—they can get Republicans to do their bidding for them!!!

Obviously, the White House is using some sort of mind control device on IRS bureaucrats. Possibly in connection with HAARP.

(Of course, despite Obama’s near God-like powers to control our very thoughts, he is also profoundly incompetent. If you don’t understand why these two viewpoints are entirely logically consistent with one another, you hate America.)

Photo credit: “Mind Control” by ~ang-kaik [CC BY-SA 3.0] on deviantart.com.

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The Sarcasm of the Internet Will Never Bow to the Surveillance State

As long as Tumblr blogs like Obama is Checking Your Email exist, we can at least know that the internet will meet government efforts at surveillance with a hefty dose of snark.

OBAMA14_CRR3

Dang, at least W. tried to be subtle about it.

If Paul Revere were alive today, Redditors would have turned him into a meme before his horse had even gotten up to a trot.

The revolution will be at least partly in lolspeak.

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Today in Epic Body Art, World Traveler Edition

A long time ago, I blogged about a German woman who had an old map of the city of Hanover tattooed on her back. This might be even more epic (h/t Mike):

I see Paris, I see France.... Nope, that's all.

I see Paris, I see France…. Nope, that’s all.

According to the Facebook page True Activist, “every time she goes to a country she gets it colored in.” While I think this is a pretty sweet idea, I have a few critical comments:

– She used the Mercator projection, which she didn’t need to do, considering that her back is a curved surface. The Mercator projection was a clumsy attempt to transfer the not-quite-spherical world map to a flat surface, making the Northern Hemisphere, and the Arctic region and Greenland in particular, seem much, much bigger than they actually are.

– She hasn’t updated her map to show the independence of South Sudan. Either this picture is at least two years old, or she is not attuned to the political upheavals of summer 2011. I can’t really tell, but it looks like she may have acknowledged East Timor. Let’s not even get started on Abkhazia, South Ossetia, Nagorno-Karabakh, or Transnistria, though. In fact, the Caucasus part of the map only has two countries, when there should be at least three. Continue reading

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This Week in WTF, June 7, 2013

3556826420_d006ae707e_oI return to my hallowed tradition of collecting oddities for the enjoyment of my reader(s). These are sort of some “greatest hits” collected over the past few months, but “This Past Six Months in WTF” doesn’t sound as good as “This Week…” Just go with it.

– The female southern bottletail squid was the topic of some discussion this week after io9 revealed that she, uh………swallows.

– A Chinese real estate company came up with a novel way to sell properties, by painting the floor plans on the backs of women in bikinis. Apparently, it’s working (h/t Sallie).

Via bitrebels.com [Fair use]

Via bitrebels.com

– A Ukrainian woman sought political asylum in the European Union because of persecution due to her participation in the adult film industry. To be clear, the woman, who performed under the name Wiska, claimed that the government was persecuting her because of her involvement, which she contends was based on economic need, not direct coercion. She faced criminal charges in Ukraine and possible loss of her children. The Czech Republic denied her asylum application, but she announced that she intended to appeal. The protest group Femen, which consists of topless Ukrainian women, is supporting her.

– A county employee in Dallas offered perhaps the best excuse in the history of the universe for being late to work: Continue reading

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Not in Defense of M. Night Shyamalan

The new M. Night Shyamalan movie, After Earth, is apparently quite a stinker, according to reviews. A notable feature of the film’s marketing is that the producers seem to want to downplay, or at least not highlight, the fact that Shyamalan directed it, instead focusing on the Will/Jaden Smith father/son starring duo. I don’t have much interest in seeing the movie, largely due to the absurd premise regarding evolution, but I am intrigued by how the movie’s release is sparking some retrospection about Shyamalan’s movies.

Scott Meslow at The Week had the following to say:

It’s logical — but somehow vaguely disheartening — that Shyamalan is now embarking on the career for which he was probably always more qualified: Not as a distinctive and idiosyncratic director in the vein of Alfred Hitchcock, but as a Renny Harlin or a Louis Leterrier — a director who’s just talented enough to add some verve to an otherwise undistinguished studio picture.

I don’t find it disheartening, because while I think Shyamalan’s movies (aside from The Sixth Sense and Unbreakable) have generally been sub-par, I think the primary criticism of him has missed the mark.

You knew this scene was coming, but admit it, it still scared the *&$%*!@# out of you (via kent-informationoverload.blogspot.com).

You knew this scene was coming, but admit it, it still scared the *&$%*!@# out of you (via kent-informationoverload.blogspot.com).

I’ll start off with something I think Shyamalan does exceedingly well, which is his direction of “jump scenes,” i.e. scenes that startle or shock you, such that you jump out of your seat. Shyamalan can broadcast, sometimes for minutes in advance, that a jump scene is coming, and the audience still jumps (or is at least meaningfully startled.) The scene with the kid and a barfing ghost (played by a young Mischa Barton) in The Sixth Sense comes to mind, although the best example is probably the “alien in the pantry” scene in Signs. He may be best suited as a director of action or suspense films written by others, as opposed to an auteur from whom everyone expects certain signatures.

Here’s where I think the criticism of Shyamalan’s movies is off-base: Meslow remarks on “Shyamalan’s over-reliance on twists,” but I don’t think he relies on twists at all. I think people came to expect twists from him after The Sixth Sense and, to a lesser extent, Unbreakable, and when no “twists” presented themselves, people assumed he just did a bad job at presenting the twist. The effort to force Shyamalan’s films into a “plot twist” model turned people against him, through no particular fault of his own. This is unfortunate, because most of his movies (at least the ones I have seen) stink for reasons unrelated to the question of plot twists. Spoiler alerts from here on out. Continue reading

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Monday Morning Cute: Monkey 1, Dog 0

Dogs and monkeys don’t seem to get along very well.

mean-monkey-kicks-dog-o

Mean Monkey Kicks Dog Animated GIF | Pets And Animals GIFs – GIFSoup.com. (via YouTube.)

I’m going to assume this is a good-natured dispute, to the extent that we can understand how monkeys and dogs negotiate with one another.

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Off the Beaten Path, America!

file000854387728Mark Manson, an American living abroad, has an amazing post up on his blog entitled “10 Things Most Americans Don’t Know About America.” In the form of “tough love,” he offers some observations of how we Americans tend to view ourselves versus how the rest of the world views us. Generalizations? Hell yes there are generalizations, but that’s not the point. America is something of an echo chamber, with a majority of people purportedly unable to locate Iraq on a map, and it does us all a world of good to get some damn perspective on the rest of the world–especially since we think we’re running the place.

Read the whole thing. I’ll wait.

Now then, I want to focus on part of #10, “We Mistake Comfort For Happiness,” that defined me far better than I’d like. I have always considered myself well-traveled, having been to something like twenty-one countries. Most of those were either guided tours or study abroad programs. Some were backpacking trips where I saw lots of museums and hostels, but very little real life. I got to visit families in their homes in Belize and Russia, but even then it seemed like we were guests of honor, not experiencing everyday life. I spent a month in Spain for a study abroad program, where I lived in a dorm and spent almost all my time with the other Americans and a handful of Italians. Which brings me to why I felt a written GPOY moment.

The American public is becoming docile and complacent…When we travel, we look for giant hotels that will insulate us and pamper us rather than for legitimate cultural experiences that may challenge our perspectives or help us grow as individuals.

At the end of May 2012, we went to one of those all-inclusive resorts in Cancun, Mexico. It was sort of all-inclusive, anyway. I won the trip in a raffle last year and did not entirely know what I was getting myself into (there was a timeshare presentation component that we worked very hard to avoid). Long story short, though, we barely ever ventured away from the hotel. The same goes for our trip this past month, which, to be fair, was our honeymoon, during which time all we wanted to do was sit on a beach/by a pool and not do anything. After five days in the Turks & Caicos, I can’t really tell you anything about the place except what I learned on the internet.

Of course, going off the beaten path sometimes has the unfortunate side effect of exposing people who aren’t expecting dumbass Americans to dumbass Americans. I can’t speak for how those people actually experience that, but I for one don’t like being a dumbass. I lost count of the number of times I tried valiantly (I think, anyway) to communicate with people I encountered in Germany in actual German. I thought I did well, considering that all the German I ever learned was in one year of college classes that I almost never attended without a hangover. I guess that’s the point of this rant. Not everyone can travel the world, but we can all learn about the rest of the world, and at least make an effort to talk to them in their own language, even if we’re hung over.

Photo credit: arker from morguefile.com.

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