Pope Corky IX (Do It for George!!!)

George Carlin offered his suggestions, in his stand-up routine and in his book Brain Droppings, about the nomenclature process in the papacy.

George_Carlin_Standup_in_2001

Through all these years, I have kept alive my one remaining childhood fantasy: I’m hoping that someday a new pope will choose the name Corky. Just once in my life, I want to look up at that balcony and see His Holiness, Pope Corky IX. I think you’d have to skip straight to nine to give him a little credibility, don’t you? Somehow, Pope Corky the First doesn’t command a great deal of authority. (Page 24)

New Pope, take the name Corky. Do it for George.

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SXSW 2013 Diary, Day 2 (March 9, 2013)

[Typed on an iPad with minimal proofreading.] Since it was a Saturday, I could use my fiancee’s parking pass downtown. No bus for me!

I almost immediately regretted trying to drive downtown. I got one of the last parking spaces on the roof of the garage, which I only obtained after a lengthy process of abruptly stopping to avoid rear-ending the driversnwho seem to think that you must close every 10-foot gap between you and the car in front of you at 20 mph or more.

Te first session I attended was entitled Tweets from the DMZ: Social Media in North Korea with Jean H. Lee, AP Bureau Chief for North Korea. While there was some interesting “slice of life” information about a Seoul-based journalist’s regular trips to North Korea, it mostly consisted, quite literally, of screenshots of tweets she has sent. I learned some interesting stuff, though. She said that the regime never stops her from taking pictures, but they always know what she is doing. They try to make sure she is “respectful” to her subjects more than almost anything else. South Korea has very strict limits on access to online material from the north. It is apparently illegal in South Korea to access North Korean websites, and the government has a strict firewall in place. It is illegal even to retweet something from North Korea. People in South Korea, she said, must be careful even following people in North Korea. North Korea has a few government-run sites, including Flickr, Twitter, and Instagram. The main goals of these government-run social media sites are propaganda, getting pictures of the leader out, etc. One person, during questions, basically suggested that she was a dupe of Pyongyang, doing their bidding by presenting their side of things, but she disputed this. He even suggested that North Korean agents might be in the room keeping eyes on her. She responding by inviting any North Koreans in the room to stand up and say hello. No one did, and I decided that would be a good time to leave.

Last year, I met some interesting people in the Samsung Blogger’s Lounge, so I headed there next. Let me try to be charitable here……while I recall that they used the room last year both to give bloggers a place to work and socialize and to do webcasts of interviews with people who are “buzzing” at SXSW, this year the interviews were harder to ignore. Impossible to ignore, actually. The host of these interviews is probably a very nice person, but her style is, I dare say, not suited to any room where anyone is expected to pay attention to anyone except her. She’s bubbly, goofy, and loud, is all I’m saying. I was able to finish my Day 1 blog entry, but couldn’t hold a conversation with anyone for long.

I hesitated to attend the next panel, for pretty basic social reasons of taboo and embarrassment. I’m glad I did, because it was one of the best sessions I’ve attended at any conference, ever. Not just because the presenter, Cindy Gallop, has an awesome British accent. The session was entitled The Future of Porn, and the line to get in extended out of the ballroom quite a long way. (She noted that nearly everything she was going to say in her talk could be a double entendre, andit was good to get that out of the way.) This was not a discussion of smut per se. In fact, she maintains that the sites she created, MakeLoveNotPorn.com and MakeLoveNotPorn.tv, are not porn, but “real world sex.” I’m just going to paste some things from my notes (shout-out to Evernote here):

  • What happens when you combine easy access to porn online with societal reluctance to discuss sex at all?
  • MakeLoveNotPorn compares porn world to real world. Led to TED Talk in 2009.
  • Not anti-porn. Issue is lack of honest conversation about sex in the real world.
  • Social media platforms generally won’t deal with sex. She wants to “socialize sex.” Launched MakeLoveNotPorn.tv, where people can submit their own videos of real sex. Site is curated, so it’s not like YouPorn. $5 submission/curation fee, $5 rental fee for 3 weeks unlimited viewing, 50% of revenue shared with submitters. The “Etsy of Sexy.”
  • Not porn, not “amateur.” They are #realworldsex. Community tells them what real world sex is.
  • Real world sex is funny, while porn sex is “earnest.” Sexual equivalent of “America’s Funniest Home Videos”
  • Real world sex is messy. Porn is “clean,” i.e. hairless, and you never see lube. No sex during periods [Ed. note: no judgment here. Whatever floats your boat.].
  • Real world sex is responsible. Porn either doesn’t have condoms, or they magically appear. More condom use if it seems sexy.
  • “Lazy person sex” – after long day, really tired, but horny. Don’t want to lift a finger to get off. No representation of that in porn or other media.
  • Thumbnails & copy are all SFW, so no one has to slam down the laptop when someone walks by.
  • You can make personalized playlists, send them to people. Lets you tell people what you like w/o awkward conversations [Ed. Note: I don’t get how this is less awkward than talking, necessarily, but what do I know?].
  • Could be the “Kinsey of today.” Had to design in-system scoring that is easy to use and one-handed. You hit the space bar to say “yes!”
  • Porn industry has been supportive. Gen Y in porn has reached out to her (entrepreneurial, ambitious, want to be part of the “new world order” of things.)
  • They’re not competing with porn. Most porn labeled “amateur” isn’t.
  • One viewer told her “Porn makes me want to jerk off. Your videos make me want to have sex.”
  • No bank in the U.S. will work with her because “porn” is in the name. No mainstream payment processor would work with her. Finally got PayPal challenger Douala (?) on board, had to go with a European bank and payment processor.
  • Porn is falling prey to the same dynamics as the music and publishing industries. Businesses play it safe by doing what everyone else is doing. Porn’s way of dealing with it is more controversial.
  • ***”It’s not that porn degrades women. It’s that business degrades porn” Pushing any business into the shadows enables bad things to happen. She’s trying to change the world through sex, make sex better for everybody. Business world is trying to stop her. She says the business world is driven by men who believe men are their target audience. She listed women entrepreneurs who are doing great work (Nina Hartley, etc.) “Women challenge the status quo because we are never ‘it.'”
  • She listed a few other products or sites she felt were worth mentioning:
  • Vibease – device for couples in LTRs.
    Offbeatr – website for sex projects
    They Fit – custom-made condoms, no FDA approval in the US
    Bang with Friends – launched about a month ago.

  • Average age of first seeing hardcore porn online today is 8. They don’t necessarily go looking for it.
  • Less than 5% of parents, she says, ever talk to their kids about sex. The talk has changed, as it needs to include discussion of what shows up in porn.
  • Legalities: 2 forms of ID, “no children, no poop, no animals.” Brought in adult industry lawyers to help.
  • Protecting privacy and IP: members-only site, no way to guarantee no piracy, though. They review everything submitted to the site before posting it. They remove videos on request if a couple breaks up.
  • Finance: adult industry-specific companies, payment processors, etc. She wants business partners who get their mission. AI-specific processors think they’re just porn, have extortionate rates. Even they though MLNP was too risky. Company like Manwin has $$$, has easier time with banking.
  • None of their videos have an “extraneous” cameraman. Spouse might record other spouse, or person might use webcam.
  • Difference between porn and sex ed. Teachers have asked to use MLNP dot com in their sex ed classes. So few people are willing to stand up for these issues, that everyone wants Cindy to do all of it.

A couple of questions stood out. Someone eventually asked if Cindy appears in any of the videos on her site. Less predictably, the questioner was a woman, and the question was asked very earnestly (as opposed to a pervy manner). A mother of teenagers got up and described how her kids have used the family computer to access adult content. She is worried about the false impressions they will get about sex, and so asked about how to use the MNLP video site to give her kids access to more realistic, perhaps even “educational” material. Mom of the Year? Quite possibly.

I could write for weeks about everything I think is wrong in the way we deal with the issue of sex. It’s prety screwed up in most of the world, but I’ll focus on the U.S. Her opening statement summed it up very well, though: we have unprecedented access to “adult” material, and not just through porn, but through an overall sexualization in our culture. At the same time, we still lack almost any ability to discuss it like rational adults, and we still attach ridiculous forms of stigma to people regarding sex. This applies to people who have sex a lot (cf. Sasha Grey), people who don’t have it at all (cf. Lolo Jones), and everything in between. And that’s only covering the conventionally-attractive young white woman demographic. Don’t get me started.

I went to a 15-minute session on copyright law after that. Blah blah fair use and so on. Then I went home to assemble more IKEA furniture.

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SXSW 2013 Diary, Day 1 (March 8, 2013)

I’m going to be honest here: I’m not really feeling it this year. I suspect that is approximately 100% due to the fact that I moved into a new house at the beginning of this week, and am experiencing the associated anxiety and odd depression that always seems to come with that. Don’t get me wrong, I love our new house. It’s just that I also sort of hate it at the moment.

It was in the midst of this chaos that I embarked on my second year as a badge holder at SXSW Interactive. Once again, I don’t really have a clear notion of my goals, other than to meet people, learn more about tech, blogging, and social media, and just be around talented, interesting, and occasionally self-important people. I’m sucking at the “meeting people” part so far, but being at the Austin Convention Center in a relatively festive atmosphere is a welcome reprieve from a week spent mediating between furniture deliveries, movers, and contactors. (Also, the purchase of a house with enough repair needs to quickly burn through most of our money, but let’s not go there just now.)

I took the Capital Metro rail for the first time, parking where I’m probably not supposed to park and riding the train to the final stop just outside the Convention Center. I don’t know if the train is usually that crowded, or if that is a SXSW effect, but it was a decent ride. It certainly beats trying to find parking downtown.

Since I don’t do much late-night partying anymore, I was able to arrive downtown at about 9:30, give or take, and it took a mere 5 minutes to get my badge. I remember last year needing about 20 minutes, but then seeing that the line had circumscribed the Convention Center later in the day. This would be an example of the hipness of being square – less time waiting in lines, or something.

I spent much of the morning catching up on work, and found the environment to be oddly conducive for work. Maybe there was some osmosis of creative power, or maybe I was just determined to finish so I could move on to fun things.

By the time I broke away from the siren call of legal-blogging-for-hire, I was not sure where I wanted to go. I considered catching a shuttle to a different venue for a panel on the business potential of animated GIFs, but ran into a friend who was going to a panel on disaster relief.

Disaster: The Future of Crisis Communications addressed how the Coast Guard has made use of social media and other technologies in disasters like Hurricanes Sandy and Irene. Very interesting stuff. Much of what they said seems obvious at first, but when you consider conditions after a disaster, you understand their importance, and how easy it might be to overlook them. In sufficiently serious crises, the very network we rely upon for information might be out of commission. How would we get information without our smartphones? Yes, many people still use things like radio or newspapers, but social media allows responders to get information out in, to use a cliché, real time.

Teaching Cheetahs: Disruptive Education in Africa was the only other panel I went to this day, partly because it sounded interesting, and partly because I didn’t have to change rooms. A group of panelists included two executives from a nonprofit that funds scholarships for top students from African to study at American universities, the founder of a Kenyan startup that provides tablets to students loaded with school curricula, and the director of an organziation that produces documentary videos highlighting educational needs. There was far more than I can justifiably summarize here, but the overall theme was “African solutions to African problems.” I just read an article the other day about well-intentioned but catastrophic efforts at aid to Africa, most of which amounted to dumping America’s leftovers in rural Africa rather than supporting infrastructure and education. It is also generally annoying that people in the U.S. often refer to “Africa” in a unitary sense, when in reality it is a continent with 54 countries (I think that’s the right number), about 1 billion people, and a wide diversity of culture, history, and language. It’s also more than twice the size of the U.S., so it’s big. Here are the organizations and companies represented, and I’d say they are worth checking out:

  • African Leadership Academy in South Africa
  • African Leadership Bridge in Austin, Texas
  • The Nobelity Project, also in Austin
  • eLimu, a startup based in Nairobi, Kenya

After that, I went home to assemble IKEA furniture.

Other highlights of the day included getting my picture taken in the Iron Throne…

20130309-150505.jpg

…and also with Clifford the Big Red Dog…

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There was also this odd display by 3M, which I call 3M’s 2D Hottie.

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Big, Mysterious Things in the Desert II

The Garabogazköl Basin is a large body of water in Turkmenistan that connects to the Caspian Sea via a small strait. It is very shallow and, according to Wikipedia, ridiculously salty, with a salinity level of 35%, compared to 1.2% in the Caspian Sea and 3.5% in the overall ocean. This makes it the second-saltiest body of water in the world outside of Antarctica (saltier than the Dead Sea). While Turkmenistan harvests salt from the area (obviously), it sounds like a place that is not terribly interesting.

Except for what I will call the Rectangle. On Google Maps, what would otherwise be an unassuming, albeit huge, lagoon, with a total area of about 6,900 square miles, has a large rectangular area that is either much more shallow than the rest of the lagoon, is somehow obscured, or is just not photographed as well.

Screen Shot 2013-03-07 at 10.56.50 AM

Via Google Maps

There is a very large, probably 40 mile by 50 mile, rectangular area in the lagoon, with an odd shadow in the top right corner. This time, my attempts to Google my way to an answer only yielded confirmation that this is, in fact, a mysteriously obscured or incomplete area. In all likelihood, the area looks different because there is no point in going to a lot of trouble to take satellite photos of the middle of a lagoon filled with water that is too salty even for sore throat sufferers.

Still, maybe something unusual is going on. Google Maps has been known to obscure areas for security purposes.

For my part, I still hold out hope it is a breeding and training area for a new race to inhabit the oceans, sort of like Sea-Monkeys but more science-fiction-y.

Monkey_Sea__Monkey_Do_by_AbandonedUntilDeath

No, not *that* kind of sea monkey! (via jaxgraphix.deviantart.com)

Photo credit: “Monkey Sea, Monkey Do” by *JaxGraphix [CC BY-NC-ND 3.0], via deviantart.com.

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Big, Mysterious Things in the Desert

588px-Lop_Nur,_Xinjiang,_China

An ironman triathlon swim would not make it halfway across the *width* of this thing.

About a year ago, Gizmodo had an article entitled “Why Is China Building These Gigantic Structures In the Middle of the Desert?” I only noticed the article a few weeks ago, but it piqued my curiosity and provided a much-needed distraction from inarguably-more-important work. In addition to a variety of giant complexes of lines on the ground in the desert of western China (sort of like non-artistic Nazca lines, but not really), there is what appears to be a giant pool next to a complex of industrial buildings. By giant, I really do mean ginormous. This thing is probably 8 miles long by 5 miles wide.

The imaginative possibilities are nearly endless. The thing is located in the Lop Nur basin, a dried-up salt lake and nuclear test site in the Xinjiang Uygur Autonomous Region of western China. It doesn’t seem to be near much of anything, except for one road. Several straight lines, which appear to be canals, extend north out of the pools for miles. In the industrial complex, which is probably huge but seems tiny compared to the gigantic pools, are two large cooling towers, often seen in nuclear power plants.


View Larger Map
What could it be? I admit, I was kind of hoping for an underwater ghost city.

Somewhat disappointingly, the actual answer was not that hard to find. Even more disappointing was that I partly found it on Wikipedia.

Well, I found the publicly available answer, anyway. If the history of government subterfuge has taught us anything, it’s that the truth usually isn’t any more interesting than the cover story. I can’t say that this is a “cover story,” but let’s cling to what little intrigue we can.

I’ll spare you any further dramatic tension: it’s a fertilizer plant. Yes, this giant complex of pools in the middle of a vast desert is there to exploit sylvite resources in the area to extract potassium chloride to make potash fertilizers. I had hoped that it was a training ground for human-fish hybrids, in preparation for colonization of the Pacific floor, but really, a fertilizer plant covering around forty square miles of desert is pretty impressive, too. NASA describes the site as follows:

Located in China’s resource-rich but moisture-poor Xinjiang autonomous region, Lop Nur is an uninviting location for any kind of agriculture. It sits at the eastern end of the Taklimakan Desert, where marching sand dunes can reach heights of 200 meters (650 feet), and dust storms rage across the landscape.

Yet for all it lacks in agricultural appeal, Lop Nur offers something valuable to farmers the world over: potash. This potassium salt provides a major nutrient required for plant growth, making it a key ingredient in fertilizer.

The discovery of potash at Lop Nur in the mid-1990s turned the area into a large-scale mining operation. The Advanced Land Imager (ALI) on NASA’s Earth Observing-1 (EO-1) satellite captured this natural-color image of Lop Nur on May 17, 2011. The rectangular shapes in this image show the bright colors characteristic of solar evaporation ponds. Around the evaporation ponds are the earth tones typical of sandy desert.

386px-Kaliumchlorid-Feld_in_der_Wüste_Lop_NorAn earlier picture of the site appears on the German-language Wikipedia page, with this somewhat-broken-English description:

The world’s largest potash fertilizer production base in the size 10 to 21 km is built in the former Lake Lop Nur, Xinjiang, China. The first phase of the project which has an annual capacity of 1.2 million tons was put into operation on Dec.18, 2008. The second phase with an annual capacity of 1.7 million tons has been launched 2009 and will be operational in 2014. The 3 million program will make Lop Nor the largest potash fertilizer production base in the world. The Project of Development and Utilization of Sylvite Resources in Lop Nur region employs the technique of producing potassium sulphate through magnesium sulfate subtype brine, which filled a technological gas of this kind and made China among the fewer countries that could produce potassium sulphate from brine directly taken from salt lake. The satellite picture is taken 2009-10-12.

800px-Lop_Nur_and_the_potash_fertilizer_production_plant_2009

I guess it’s hard to keep big things secret anymore, although I’m still not sure if this was ever meant to be secret. I found another picture of what appears to be a separate site in the area, described as a “salt field”:

Salt_field_in_the_Lop_Nur_Desert

China, Xinjiang, desert Lop Nur. Satellite picture of the Lop Desert with the Basin of the formerly sea Lop Nur. You see the Salt field by the Lop Nur Sylvite Science and Technology Development Co. Ltd.

Based on some archived articles, China began the process of extracting sylvite from the region in 2001, expecting to find reserves of up to 250 million tons. The country made a “major breakthrough” in techniques to extract at use the mineral in 2004, and it began setting up the facility around the same time. The first phase of the facility became operational on December 18, 2008, with a capacity of producing 1.2 million tons of fertilizer per year. The second phase, which will produce 1.7 million tons annually, is supposed to go online this year.

On the other hand, it could be a prototype for China’s first ringworld, to test out ocean structures…

Photo credits: “Lop Nur, Xinjiang, China” by Jesse Allen and Robert Simmon (NASA Earth Observatory) [Public domain], via Wikimedia Commons; “Kaliumchlorid-Feld in der Wüste Lop Nor” by NASA. [Public domain], via Wikimedia Commons; “Lop Nur and the potash fertilizer production plant 2009” by NASA [Public domain], via Wikimedia Commons; “Salt field in the Lop Nur Desert” by NASA [Public domain], via Wikimedia Commons

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Cutting Off the TLD to Spite the Face

Azadi_MonumentThe group United Against Nuclear Iran (UANI) has, by all appearances, a worthwhile goal, which is to prevent Iran from obtaining nuclear weapons. To accomplish this, it often puts pressure on private companies to divest from Iran, both directly and through any subsidiaries or affiliated business that might do business there. By and large, this is clearly the free exercise of economic power to try to bring about social change, something I generally support. I could say a few things about the long-term wisdom of tarring an entire nation of people with a history and culture spanning millennia based on the oft-psychotic behavior of a 33-year-old regime, but let’s focus on UANI’s latest campaign instead.

According to a UANI press release dated September 18, 2012:

On Tuesday, United Against Nuclear Iran (UANI) launched its World Wide Web campaign, and called on both the Internet Corporate for Assigned Names and Numbers (ICANN) and Réseaux IP Européens Network Coordination Centre (RIPE) to disconnect the Internet access of sanction-designated Iranian entities such as its Central Bank and its military’s engineering arm.

ICANN is the nonprofit corporation that has the authority to designate and assign domain names on the World Wide Web. RIPE performs a similar service in Europe. UANI sent letters to both agencies on September 7, demanding that they cease providing services to “sanction-designated Iranian entities.” This may work as a public relations move, but it has multiple problems, not least of which is the fact that ICANN and RIPE can’t just turn off a spigot and cut Iran off. UANI seems to be suggesting cutting off specific Iranian entities included on the sanctions list, but it could never work that way. John Levine, a writer for the internet technology journal CircleID, calls the idea that ICANN or RIPE could just cut Iran off “ridiculous”: Continue reading

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This Week in WTF, October 12, 2012

320px-Soviet_War_Memorial_Northwest_view_1– Last week, I mentioned a college student who got near-fatal alcohol poisoning from pouring cheap wine up his butt. This week, I learned about a teenager in England who had to have part of her stomach removed after drinking a concoction containing Jaegermeister and liquid nitrogen (you read that right.) My assumption was that this was some sort of dare gone horribly wrong or even an assault, but I might have been wrong to think that. Apparently, putting liquid nitrogen in high-end cocktails is the new hot thing. I am so happy to be vanilla and boring right now.

– One thing you can say for certain about the nations of the former Soviet Union is that they love their World War II memorials. So much so, that it’s probably best not to mess with them too much.

KIEV (Reuters) – A Ukrainian court has handed down a suspended three-year prison sentence to a student who fried eggs over the eternal flame at a World War Two memorial to protest against government policies.

Hanna Sinkova was found guilty of desecrating The Tomb of the Unknown Soldier in Kiev.

Sinkova, 21, a member of radical youth movement called The Brotherhood of St. Lucas, said her actions were meant to draw attention to the plight of impoverished war veterans.

– A man in Pennsylvania is suing a strip club for……just read it:

A lawsuit filed last week says that in late November 2010 [redacted], a resident of Lansdale, Pa., had been invited to lie on the stage at the Penthouse Club in Port Richmond, Pa., as part of its “Bachelor’s Package.”

That’s when one dancer shimmied up the pole, and “from a great height, she launched herself down onto his abdomen” with such force that she ruptured his bladder, [redacted]’s attorney [also redacted] told the Philadelphia Daily News.

The suit said the move resulted in severe pain for [redacted] that did not subside by the next morning. He went to the emergency room, and doctors discovered he had internal bleeding and a ruptured bladder that required surgery to correct.

[Also redacted] said that [redacted] also suffered nerve damage in his back and hip, the Daily News reported.

The lawsuit accuses the club of negligence and seeks at least $50,000 for medical costs, pain, humiliation and mental anguish.

Keep in mind that we are not talking about [redacted]’s testicles here. That would be too obvious. This is his bladder, which, as far as I know, he keeps on the inside.

Photo credit: “Soviet War Memorial Northwest view 1” by Zael (Own work) [CC-BY-SA-3.0], via Wikimedia Commons.

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“Be proud to be a decent American, rather than be just a wanker whipping up fear.”

If you’re going to get smacked down, it really should be by someone with an Irish brogue. On May 28, 2010, American right-wing radio host Michael Graham was in Galway, Ireland, and had a debate with then-Labor Party Deputy Michael D. Higgins. If I may be permitted to stereotype a people with whom I have fairly recent common ancestors, Michael Graham picked a fight with an Irishman. Bad idea.

This is what happened:

Graham wasn’t about to go gently into that good night. He took to his own blog a few days later, and said things like this:

Specifically, Deputy Higgins accused me of being “a wanker who’s just whipping up fear.”  Fear of the massive debt the US has added since Obama took office, fear of our inability to pay for the monstrous ObamaCare system that’s already failed the “won’t add a single nickel to the deficit” test, fear of whackjob Islamists who use murder to pursue their aims, etc. etc.

***

Personally, I found Deputy Higgins’ weak logic and unwillingness to acknowledge facts far more bothersome than the name calling. But once again, I’m a conservative talk host in America, so I’m used to being insulted by government officials.

I’ll leave it to the Irish to decide if the Deputy’s comments were out of line.  Regardless, I am grateful for those who’ve risen to my defense.

And a proud, American “wanker.”

Reading that June 1, 2010 blog entry today, I am heartened by the number of people recommending that Graham just admit he got schooled and move on with his life.

I do sort of wonder what else happened in the debate. The YouTube video only has Higgins’ florid tirade, with the occasional “yeah, but” coming from Graham. Graham had an opportunity to offer a counterpoint, and you can see what he came up with.

In case you are wondering what Michael D. Higgins is up to now, he is the President of Ireland. I guess most Irish did not think his comments were “out of line.” He received more than one million votes in the 2011 election, in a country of 4.6 million people.

In case you are wondering what Michael Graham is up to now, I guess he is still on the radio, but I’m not going anywhere else on his website to check. I can say that this encounter with Michael D. Higgins is the last event mentioned on Graham’s Wikipedia page.

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“Modern civilization requires tolerance and respect for different values,” he said without irony

If last week’s Pussy Riot verdict didn’t clue you in, Russia is different from America in a number of key ways. For one thing, they are much more forthcoming about their efforts to suppress LGBT rights, enough to file a lawsuit against an American celebrity for daring to speak out:

MOSCOW (AP) — Some Russian activists have sued Madonna for millions of dollars, claiming they were offended by her support for gay rights during a recent concert in St. Petersburg.
Anti-gay sentiment is strong in Russia. In St. Petersburg, a law passed in February makes it illegal to promote homosexuality to minors, and the author of that law has pointed to the presence of children as young as 12 at Madonna’s concert on Aug. 9.

Russian news agencies quote Alexander Pochuyev, a lawyer representing the nine activists, as saying the suit was filed Friday against Madonna, the organizer of her concert, and the hall where it was held, asking for damages totaling 333 million rubles, or nearly $10.5 million.

Responding to criticism that the plaintiffs were stuck in the Middle Ages, the lawyer said they were using civilized, modern methods to defend their rights. “No one is burning anyone at the stake or carrying out an Inquisition,” Pochuyev was quoted by RIA Novosti as saying. “Modern civilization requires tolerance and respect for different values.”

I have not seen any video of Mr. Pochuyev’s interview, but one could read that as an expression of downright disappointment that he can’t fire up a good old-fashioned pyre; or as a barely-concealed threat that, if litigation fails, inquisition is sure to follow.

I doubt he’ll accomplish much more than looking like a buffoon in front of the whole world, though.

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This Week in WTF? August 17, 2012

godwincat-thumb-298x319-155479– A fan of right-wing faux-historian David Barton Godwins himself, and not even subtly (cf. Godwin’s Law.)

– A lost parakeet in Japan named Piko-chan is reunited with his owner after telling police its address.

– Authorities in Kazan, capital of Tatarstan, Russia, have found a Muslim sect (some might say “cult”) literally underground:

Seventy members of an Islamist sect have been discovered living in an eight-level underground bunker without heat for more than a decade, just outside the city of Kazan, Russia.

The BBC says four members of a breakaway Muslim sect have been charged with cruelty against children for keeping them underground in catacomb-like cells without heat. Many had never seen sunlight.

Police discovered the sub-terranean community in the Tatarstan region, a mainly Muslim area on the Volga River, during an investigation into recent attacks on Muslim clerics in the region.

Some of the children, aged between one and seventeen had never left the compound, gone to school or treated by a doctor.

A more nuanced view of the compound, suggesting (or hinting) that Russian authorities have exaggerated the conditions in order “to show they are cracking down on radical Islamic groups” comes from The Blaze, of all places.

– Ultra-Orthodox Jewish men in Israel have the latest cutting-edge technology to protect them from seeing hotties out on the street:

New prescription glasses that blur out temptress daughters of Eve are now available for ultra-Orthodox Jewish men in Israel whose religious beliefs require that they strictly avoid contact with women in public, especially “immodestly” dressed women.

The new glasses allow ultra-Orthodox men to maintain a strictly devout lifestyle that prescribes segregation of the sexes on buses, streets, restaurants, parks and other public spaces. According to the ultra-Orthodox interpretation of Jewish law, all contact between unmarried men and women is forbidden.

The Associated Press reports that the ultra-Orthodox community’s “modesty patrols” are selling the glasses equipped with special blur-inducing stickers on their lenses. The glasses allow for clear vision only up to a few meters but all objects beyond that range are blurry.

I have two thoughts on this: (1) This is a far preferable solution, as opposed to trying to dictate what Israeli women must wear or where they can sit. (2) It is very hard not to point out the symbolism of special glasses for ultra-religious individuals that only allow them to see a few feet in front of themselves.

– A newfangled 3D printer in Japan will create a replica of your unborn fetus. As Allegra Tepper at Mashable notes, “It’s kind of like a snow globe — of your unborn child.” So, uh, not creepy at all…

– A civilian contractor, with the oddly-appropriate surname Fury, faces two federal counts of arson for allegedly setting two fires on or near the nuclear submarine USS Miami. The fire on board the sub reportedly caused $400 million in damage and took twelve hours to extinguish. The prosecution is claiming that he set at least one of the fires so he could leave work early. The judge is keeping him in jail until trial.

– Medical marijuana activists sent fake letters, purporting to be from the U.S. Attorney’s Office, to pharmacies in San Diego warning them that they would be shut down within forty-five days. The point of the hoax, apparently, was to highlight U.S. Attorney Laura Duffy’s mission to shut down medical marijuana dispensaries around California (presumably because drugs are bad, mmmkay?), and the disparate treatment pharmacies receive from federal authorities compared to dispensaries. Hard to argue with the message, but the tactic seems very junior high.

Photo credit: Godwin Cat, via dollymix.tv.

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