I return to my hallowed tradition of collecting oddities for the enjoyment of my reader(s). These are sort of some “greatest hits” collected over the past few months, but “This Past Six Months in WTF” doesn’t sound as good as “This Week…” Just go with it.
– The female southern bottletail squid was the topic of some discussion this week after io9 revealed that she, uh………swallows.
– A Ukrainian woman sought political asylum in the European Union because of persecution due to her participation in the adult film industry. To be clear, the woman, who performed under the name Wiska, claimed that the government was persecuting her because of her involvement, which she contends was based on economic need, not direct coercion. She faced criminal charges in Ukraine and possible loss of her children. The Czech Republic denied her asylum application, but she announced that she intended to appeal. The protest group Femen, which consists of topless Ukrainian women, is supporting her.
I’m out of town for a bit, and haven’t seen much in the way of news, but I just learned about the rescue of the three kidnapped women in Cleveland, and I must say that Charles Ramsey, the neighbor who reportedly discovered the three women, sounds like an epic-level bad-ass. Not only did he save the day, but he is refusing any reward money:
The man who is being hailed as a hero for rescuing the lives of three women kidnapped for a decade says that he would like any reward money to be turned over to the victims.
Charles Ramsey became an instant Internet sensation on Monday when he helped free Amanda Berry, Georgina DeJesus and Michele Knight from the house next to his where they had been trapped for around 10 years.
***
[CNN’s Anderson] Cooper noted that the FBI had offered a reward for at least two of the victims.
“I tell you what you do, give it to them,” Ramsey said. “Because if folks been following this case since last night, you been following me since last night, you know I got a job anyway.”
“Just went picked it up, paycheck,” he added, producing an envelope from his pocket. “What that address say?”
“Where are them girls living? Right next door to this paycheck. So yes, take that reward and give it to — that little girl came out the house and she was crying.”
We could probably use more people like that in the world.
Ted Cruz, the Republican freshman senator from Texas, has, to put it lightly, beenacolossalembarrassmentforourstate. I won’t even bother listing his accomplishments in his barely two months in office, but if his goal was to keep himself in the headlines making all Texans look bad, then he is doing a bang-up job.
In an unusual move, Sen. Ted Cruz (R-Texas) objected last week to a routine Senate resolution commemorating Multiple Sclerosis Awareness Week.
Congress passes hundreds of resolutions, meant to commemorate everything from a special awareness week or Little League champions. The resolutions lack any real power of law and are predominantly ceremonial. For example, earlier this month the Senate passed resolutions to mark “World Plumbing Day” and commemorating the three-year anniversary of the Haiti earthquake.
In order to keep business moving and not clog the Senate floor, they are normally passed in bulk through a “unanimous consent agreement,” meaning a vote isn’t tallied since both sides agree to it.
But last week, Cruz objected to including the MS Awareness resolution. He was unhappy with a clause in the resolution describing the purpose of the Multiple Sclerosis Coalition, according to a Democratic staffer.
Now, I suppose we should take anything a “Democratic staffer” says with a grain of salt, as it could be anybody from a 16 year-old Senate page to Vice President Joe Biden. Either way, it is unlikely to be someone with first-hand knowledge of the contents of Ted Cruz’s head (that joke is too easy.) We don’t know, based on Politico‘s reporting, what clause the senator found objectionable. I am going to assume that it reads “WHEREAS, kittens are adorable…” Continue reading →
At least one night a week has been relatively sleepless, for unknown reasons so far. Since I am not one to allow a single waking hour to go unwasted, though, it seemed like high time to play around with the auto-fill function on Google. All of these are 100% and and happened between 2:30 and 3:00 a.m. today.
Indeed, these are the questions that haunt us in the wee hours of the night.
That’s, uh, good to know…
Okay, raise your hand if you saw that third one coming. Are you raising your hand? Liar. No one could have predicted that one.
o_O. Good night, Google. You obviously need sleep at least as much as me.
An old, yet still compelling, story came my way today (h/t Matt), of a young man who sought to express his Scottish heritage, but was shunned by school officials who don’t think men should wear dresses. This all played out in Missouri.
A Granite City High School senior doing research on his family’s Scottish heritage purchased a kilt made out of the family’s tartan and decided the garment’s coming out party would be at the senior prom.
School officials, however, said no.
William Carruba was denied again Tuesday by the Granite City School Board, where he had turned in hopes of having the school’s denial reversed. Officials there said kilts are “nontraditional” and that they do not fit into the district’s dress code.
“I understand full-heartedly,” Carruba, 19, said of the board’s decision after the meeting. “I’ll just … wear pants.”
Superintendent Harry A. Briggs told the 65 people in attendance that the denial was not simply about the kilt.
“We must adhere to our (dress) policy,” Briggs said. “To do otherwise would be reckless on our part.”
While he said he respects the tradition of the kilt, Briggs, who said he is of Scottish-Irish heritage, said normal attire must be worn to school functions.
“It’s not what we call normal wear,” he said of the kilt, adding that “attending the prom is a privilege, not a right.”
Okay, fair enough, what with school policies and all. Maybe the problem is with the policy itself (unless the goal is to keep kids from expressing themselves, which it might be.)
I’m tempted to break out some Braveheart quotes, a la “Go back to England and tell them there that Scotland’s daughters and her sons are yours no more. Tell them Scotland is free.”
What this really needs, though, is some Scottish-highland-dancing McGuirk:
Seriously, y’all, I committed myself to too many “of the day/week/month”-type things already, so I’m just going to post stuff whenever I feel like it, and you’re going to like it.
– Police in Manatee County, Florida arrested a woman for “masturbating while high in Starbucks.” Well, that’s what the headline said, anyway. A police spokesperson claimed that “she was high on crack with her hands going everywhere” and that “her hands went into her pants when she was wigging out.” The police also claimed that the woman was “high on crack” because they allegedly found a pipe with cocaine residue in her purse. However, the spokesperson also conceded that “no one could ever say for sure what she was doing, and I’m pretty sure the video didn’t show anything definitive.”
So, maybe high, and maybe trying to double-click her mouse in the middle of Starbucks. But never let uncertainty stand in the way of a sensational headline!
– In a similar gross misuse of the English language, the Houston Chronicle’s “Celebrity Buzz” section asks the timeless questions “Was Amanda Bynes naked at tanning salon?” I admit I clicked the link out of befuddlement, because aren’t people supposed to be naked, or mostly naked, while tanning indoors? (My clicking of the link had noothermotivationwhatsoever. Really.)
The actual article gave a bit more detail, now that it had suckered me into clicking the link. Random reports by people who like to report things about celebrities indicated that Bynes might have been “wander[ing] around a New York tanning salon completely naked.” The answer to the titular question? (See what I did there?) No, Amanda Bynes was not walking around naked in the public area of the tanning salon. In fact, she might sue the folks who started that rumor, because suing someone is a great way to deflect attention away from yourself. </sarcasm>
I return to my hallowed tradition of collecting oddities for the enjoyment of my reader(s). These are sort of some “greatest hits” collected over the past few months, but “This Past Six Months in WTF” doesn’t sound as good as “This Week…” Just go with it.![Via bitrebels.com [Fair use]](http://crypticphilosopher.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/06/body-painting-floor-plan-1.jpg "Via bitrebels.com [Fair use]")
By 
– Police in Manatee County, Florida arrested a woman for