What I’m Reading, June 5, 2014

By Maurits90 (Own work) [Public domain], via Wikimedia CommonsLife in the Valley of Death, Scott Anderson, The New York Times Magazine, May 29, 2014 (h/t Lucy Kafanov)

Of all the atrocities committed throughout Bosnia between 1992 and 1995, the one that compels Masovic the most is Srebrenica. In some respects, this is hardly surprising: Srebrenica has come to symbolize the Bosnian war’s unspeakable brutality and the international community’s colossal failure when confronting it. Located in a tiny valley in eastern Bosnia and Herzegovina, it was the site of one of the war’s most desperate contests, a marooned enclave in which a couple of thousand government soldiers, along with as many as 40,000 mostly Muslim refugees, held out for three years against a siege by Serb separatist fighters.

For more than half that time, Srebrenica was under international military protection, one of six United Nations-designated “safe areas” established throughout the country in 1993. That status proved meaningless when the Serbs launched an all-out assault in July 1995. Instead of resisting, the U.N. Protection Force in Srebrenica stood down, and over the next few days, the Serbs hunted and killed more than 8,000 men and boys, most of whom were trying to escape the enclave by foot. It was the worst slaughter, and the first officially recognized act of genocide, to occur on European soil since World War II.

Why does anyone care if celebrity gossip is ‘clickbaity’? Robyn Pennacchia, Death and Taxes, June 3, 2013

There is a strain of purists on the internet with a certain set of rules that they want people like me to abide by. One of which is that they want all headlines to give away all the pertinent information in the article so that they don’t have to “click” on it or, rather, read it, in order to know what’s going on. This is not always possible, if only because we just can’t actually make headlines that long. Which is why we write entire articles rather than just headlines. The point of the headline, truly, is to get you to read the article. This is not a big secret or conspiracy.

Photo credit: By Maurits90 (Own work) [Public domain], via Wikimedia Commons.

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Okay, this at least got my attention

Targeted online ads can be interesting. I guess Google and whoever else data mines all of this stuff knows that I’m a lawyer (although they might not know whether I’m practicing or not), so it makes sense that I might get ads for online legal research and such. I guess the pretty blonde is just a bonus:

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Fine, it caught my attention, and if the message they want to convey is “Hot young lawyers do their research with us!!!” then message received. Legal research is not particularly sexy. As a friend of mine once noted, at no point on L.A. Law did we see Susan Dey doing document review or Shepardizing. Still, it’s gotta be done, and if someone might have a better way of doing it, they gotta get their message out there.

You know what’s even less sexy than legal research? CPAP machines. I have to use one for sleep apnea, and it never would’ve even occurred to me to try to sexify such a device.  I’m still scratching my head about this ad: Continue reading

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What I’m Reading, May 13, 2014

Gage Skidmore [CC-BY-SA-3.0 (http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/3.0)], via Wikimedia CommonsPatton Oswalt Brilliantly Trolls for Twitter Outrage, Chez Pazienza, The Daily Banter, May 7, 2014

If it weren’t so hilarious it would be depressing. A little earlier this afternoon Patton Oswalt began trolling Twitter and the rest of the internet, trying to drum up outrage over nothing. Literally, nothing.

What he did was simple: He started posting tweets that referenced and apologized for tweets he says he deleted because they were offensive, but of course the “deleted tweets” weren’t real. They never were.

Chris McDougall: I Never Meant To Start A Barefoot-Running Fad, Jon Gugala, Fittish, May 7, 2014

In 2009, Chris McDougall published Born to Run, an account of his adventures in the remote canyons of Mexico. From his travelogue was birthed an industry-shifting movement that re-examined everything once accepted as gospel truth about running shoes. Continue reading

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Not ALL Men!!!!!!111!!!!!1!!!!!!!

The “Not All Men” meme may be the greatest thing on the internet in months, and that’s saying a lot (relatively speaking, of course).

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The universe holds immutable truths: matter cannot be created or destroyed, an object in motion will stay at motion unless acted on by an outside force, and any time a woman points out sexist bullshit, some hero’s opinion will gallantly ride in on a fedora, chiming in “Not All Men!”

Now, thanks to the internet’s collective sillybrain, Not All Men! has gone from an irritating trope to a funny, giddy skewering of point-missing folks whose knee jerk reaction as part of a privileged group is to defend themselves against implications that they, as members of the complained-about privileged group, might be complicit in the status quo. It’s defensive bullshit that doesn’t really do anything but prove the bearer of Not All Men is more concerned with saving face for themselves than, you know, actually acknowledging the concern that another person is expressing.

I guess the meme has been around for a while, but I’m old and unhip. I still think lolcats are funny.

Seriously, though, dudes: if someone says something about “men,” and it describes something that you don’t personally do, try to imagine how your listeners might receive your abrupt assurances that not all men (i.e. not you) are like/do that. If it’s really such a concern that people know you’re not like that, then show, don’t tell.

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Blogging is Going to Change the World!!!!!1!!!!!

The power of bloggers to change the world appears to be the theme of the almost comically-pretentious documentary American Blogger (h/t Julie).

The trailer tells us this ‘beautiful’ and ‘cinematic’ movie follows some documentarian you never heard of as he travels America in an Airstream interviewing bloggers… who with only one (briefly shown) exception are gorgeous white women who appear to be fairly wealthy.

This is the face of blogging: blond MILFs lounging about in hammocks on their porches. As a blogger this pretty well reflects my life.

Everything about this trailer – from the premise to the awful fucking music – is hilarious. Please hate-watch this.

I can’t add much to that, except to note that if blogging does change the world, the blogs probably won’t originate in suburban middle America. (If someone wants to make Egyptian Blogger, there might be more to it.)

Also, has anyone actually touted the ability of blogs to “change the world” since Twitter and Facebook first caught on? There’s always a new killer app that’s going to change the world until the next world-changing killer app comes along…..

Anyway, you can hate-watch the trailer here:

American Blogger Official Trailer from Chris Wiegand on Vimeo.

 

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The Bluebonnet Meme the World So Desperately Needed

Spring is here in central Texas, which means that it’s time for an age-old tradition: incredibly awkward poses while surrounded by bluebonnets.

To honor this tradition, someone has created a blog on (where else?) Tumblr entitled Pooping on Bluebonnets. The author of the blog has made some amusing modifications to the photos, which I admit I didn’t notice right away.

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My only beef is that it’s not clear where these photos come from. If they are taken from other people’s social media posts, there might be some consent and privacy issues. Hence my use of pixelation.

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Ticketed for Littering

Pun Dog may be the greatest meme in the history of the internet of at least the last few days.

Via BuzzFeed/Imgur

Via BuzzFeed/Imgur

That is all.

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What I’m Reading, March 21, 2014

By United States Department of Energy [Public domain], via Wikimedia CommonsMicronesians Continue To Seek Justice On The 60th Anniversary Of The Castle Bravo Nuclear Test, Michelle Broader Van Dyke, BuzzFeed, February 28, 2014

The U.S. conducted at least 67 nuclear tests in the Marshall Islands between 1946 and 1958. The nuclear test conducted at Bikini Atoll on March 1, 1954, Operation Castle Bravo, remains the largest test ever conducted by the U.S. and yielded 15 megatons, almost 1,000 times the power of the bomb dropped on Hiroshima.

Bravo vaporized two surrounding islets and sent a plume of highly radioactive debris floating over the lagoon and into the open water. Atolls downwind of Bikini, including Rongelap and Utirik, hadn’t been informed of the tests but were showered with dangerously radioactive ash, which residents believed was snow — something they had never seen.

In the years following the test, people who were exposed burned from the radiation, became nauseous, developed thyroid problems, had loss of blood cells, and women who were pregnant miscarried. And decades after the bombings, the health problems persist with unusually high rates of birth defects and cancer among Micronesians.

Keurig Will Use DRM In New Coffee Maker To Lock Out Refill Market, Karl Bode, TechDirt, March 3, 2014

The single coffee cup craze has been rolling now for several years in both the United States and Canada, with Keurig, Tassimo, and Nespresso all battling it out to lock down the market. In order to protect their dominant market share, Keurig makers Green Mountain Coffee Roasters has been on a bit of an aggressive tear of late. As with computer printers, getting the device in the home is simply a gateway to where the real money is: refills. But Keurig has faced the “problem” in recent years of third-party pod refills that often retail for 5-25% less than what Keurig charges. As people look to cut costs, there has also been a growing market for reusable pods that generally run anywhere from five to fifteen dollars.

Continue reading

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D*** Pic Revenge

How does one deal with unsolicited and unwanted pictures of guys’ d***s sent via text message? I hope to never have to deal with this problem, but I figure it is worth passing on this bit of awesomeness. Via David Futrelle, we learn of Svelinya and her encounter with a d***-pic sender and (unfortunately for him), Breaking Bad fan. Here’s a sample:

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The “just on the left” bit is his reference to where he imagines her relative to his, uh, you get the idea. She seizes on the fact that he’s watching Breaking Bad (while taking pictures of his junk, apparently) and turns the conversation to her advantage…

Seriously, the whole exchange is awesome, and you will not have to see any actual d***s. Let it be a reminder/warning to anyone who wants to be creepy on the internet: There is a price for everything. Sometimes that price is spoilers.

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Vindicated by Grumpy Cat, Sort Of

I have long been a fan of Grumpy Cat (née Tardar Sauce), and while she may be wearing thin as a meme, she can still draw a crowd.

My online petition asking HBO to cast Grumpy Cat in the role of Lady Whiskers in season 4 of Game of Thrones was a bust. Since last August, it has only gained three supporters (and that might include me). Besides that, season 4 starts in a few weeks.

Still, I feel vindicated, as a moment of glorious brand synergy occurred last week during SXSW, when Grumpy Cat sat upon the Iron Throne and, to quote one reporter, “obviously hated it.”

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She even got her own dragons, meaning she’s ahead of Daenerys Targaryen, Iron-Throne-sitting-wise: Continue reading

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