SCROTUM!!!!!

Editorial: Don’t let your kids read this

This is a good one. A number of librarians are complaining because the latest Newberry Award-winning children’s book, “The Higher Power of Lucky,” describes a rattlesnake biting a dog on the ballsack…I mean scrotum.

The book uses the anatomically-correct term, so what’s the problem, exactly? That a children’s book acknowledges the existence of canine private parts? I am using nearly all my strength to suppress the urge to vomit at the thought of a rattlesnake biting anything anywhere near my…scrotum, but that really isn’t the point, anyway:

“Because of that one word, I would not be able to read that book aloud,” one [librarian] explained, calling it “a Howard Stern-type shock treatment.” We have three words for that: Oh, come on.

I recall several Newberry books I read as a kid, and many of them deal with some pretty tough issues. While I am not certain that snake bites on the junk are on the same level as death or racism when it comes to issues children must confront, I am not convinced that this is such a horrible thing for a librarian to have to say out loud.

I wonder what the book is actually about?

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Safe sex never looked so f—ing scary

From the nihilistically astute folks at Cruel.com, this may be the most disturbing public service announcement ever (note: not for the sqeamish):

I have to wonder whether this is a situation where the shock value of the ad’s content vastly overshadows its message. Safe sex = extremely important, but violence against women = extremely fucking uncool. By the end of the ad, I had similar feelings to those I had at the end of Taxi Driver or Reservoir Dogs, as in general feelings of pessimism about the human condition. Not necessarily the most effective way to encourage condom use. It is, however, a good way to get a lot of blog posts on the topic.

I think I’ve been played.

Use condoms. This message brought to you by whatever punk-ass freak made the above ad.

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More thoughts on the HPV vaccine debacle

Here’s an account of an attempt to put a human face on this saga from the Fort Bend Herald:

Every three months, Amanda Vail will relive her rape as she undergoes another pap smear to check for cervical cancer.The man who attacked her in December gave her a virulent strain of the human papillomavirus, or HPV. Vail’s doctor told her she has up to a 70 percent chance of developing cancer.

At a Monday night hearing, she urged lawmakers to spare other young women from the same fate and kill a bill that would override Gov. Rick Perry’s anti-cancer vaccine mandate.‘‘I would not have to be repeatedly violated had I been vaccinated,” said Vail, a 29-year-old graduate student from Houston. ‘‘That option wasn’t available to me, and it is now available to these young women.”

This is sort of what I have been trying to get at on this issue. Not all sex is voluntary (to put it in highly inappropriately casual terms), and not even all consensual sex occurs with all facts out on the table. Even seemingly monogamous married couples have the risk of bringing HPV in from earlier in life. But that is not really the argument opponents seem to be making. I will leave the argument related to the vaccine’s expense alone, because that actually has some validity (it also requires balancing the vaccine’s approximate $360/dose cost against the cost to taxpayers of caring for cancer and STD patients, which requires more arithmetic than I care to do at the moment and will inevitably lead me into a rant against pharmaceutical companies.) My beef is with the argument about parents’ rights et al–the argument that mandating a vaccine compromises parents’ rights to raise children as they see fit. Never mind that any parent may opt out of having their child vaccinated; all children must be denied the vaccine to protect the rights of some parents to withhold information about the birds and bees from their children (presumably until their wedding nights).

Conservatives oppose the vaccine requirement because they believe it contradicts Texas’ abstinence-only sex education policies and strays too far into families’ lives. Others have balked at the $360 cost for the three-shot series and questioned the vaccine’s efficacy and safety.

There have been good arguments made pointing to doubts about the vaccine’s safety/efficacy, to be sure. The “family’s rights” argument is always the one trotted out first, though, as near as I can tell, and it just doesn’t make any sense to me. Do conservatives oppose checking children for scoliosis in schools because it impacts parents’ control over their children’s spines? Okay, that is a silly hypothetical, but think about the principle–parents are asserting a right to raise their children as they see fit (fine) and to guide the moral development of their children (also fine) in ways that affect public health (maybe not so okay). This vaccine guards against one STD, so it is hardly a license to throw caution to the wind. I suspect that this quote may more accurately reflect a major objection (and I do sincerely hope there is context lacking here):

Robert Morrow, a small government activist from Austin, said he’s offended that Perry would want to spend taxpayer money to interfere with parents’ rights. ‘‘I do not think the state of Texas should be in the business of preventative health care for teenage sluts,” Morrow said.

Wait, who is the slut in his assessment? I do not want to go where his statement inevitably leads, but someone has to–is he calling rape victims sluts? Or people who engage in sexual activity without access to all of the facts because their parents and state government decided that simply telling kids not to have sex would be enough? I don’t know. I do know that framing an argument against the vaccine as an argument against “sluttiness” is just disappointing. Pop quiz: How many times do you have to have sex to get HPV or any other STD? Answer: Once.

Is someone who has sex once automatically a slut? Honestly?

You want to argue about the cost? That is fair.

Are you concerned about the adequacy of testing prior to bringing the vaccine to market? Good point.

Do you have libertarian objections to government-mandated vaccinations in general? No problem.

Do you have problems with the way the drug is being marketed? I’m inclined to agree with you there.

Is there evidence of some sort of crony link between Rick Perry and the drug’s manufacturer? Let’s see it.

These are valid arguments, and most likely valid objections, but they do not appear to be the main objection. This debate is not about cost, nor is it about libertarian principles of small government. HPV is a very effective scare tactic to promote abstinence, and now there is a danger that the scare tactic is not as scary as we thought. Given the general tendency to oppose sex education in nearly any form, it would be a pretty important loss.

This is a fight to protect rhetoric, that’s all.

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Death before having to mention sex to kids, say religious conservatives

Perhaps I’m being a little bit melodramatic with this topic, but I really do want to know if religious conservatives find it preferable to keep life-saving vaccines away from people rather than run the risk that kids might get the idea in their heads that sex exists.

From liberal conspiracymongers People for the American Way:

Following a recommendation by the Centers for Disease Control, a number of states have implemented or are considering vaccinating girls attending public school against HPV, a virus that causes 70 percent of cervical cancer cases. While vaccinations against measles, mumps, and tetanus are not controversial, the Religious Right sees HPV differently: It is sexually transmitted. The Family Research Council’s Bridget Maher warned that young women may see vaccination “as a licence to engage in premarital sex,” and former Focus on the Family advisor Reginald Finger said that marketing the vaccine “would undermine the abstinence-only message.”

[T]he Religious Right’s strong reaction against “forc[ing] little girls to be shot with a sex virus vaccine” leaves little room in the debate for details about which form parents have to fill out to preserve so-called “parents’ rights.” Instead, the Right’s abstinence-only refrain makes it sound like Texas is requiring girls to carry condoms, as one right-wing group put it. The emphasis on abstinence to the point of excluding other information is already dangerous policy when it comes to sex ed, but it’s doubly so when it comes at the direct cost of passing up a life-saving cure – especially when many on the Right acknowledge that abstinence might not be enough. Vaccination would protect not only the 94 percent of women who have sex before marriage, but also those who “practice[] abstinence and fidelity” yet “could
be exposed
to HPV through sexual assault or marriage to an infected partner,” as FRC’s Sprigg admitted.

First of all, can anyone maintain a straight face while arguing that the “94 percent of women who have sex before marriage” do so because they learned about sex in public school? Actually, I’m sure some people can. They’re wrong. I’m happy to argue that point further, but I’ll move on.

The position seems to be thus:

  1. We should not teach sex ed in schools.
  2. We should not educate kids about, nor distribute the means of, protection against STD’s or pregnancy.

I suppose the resulting assumption, then, is that people are endowed by God with all the necessary knowledge re: sexuality on their 18th birthday? Well, since our tax dollars are also being spent to encourage abstinence among adults, maybe that is not the case.

Some say it is a slippery slope (yes, I’m talkin’ to you, CK)…okay, where would said slope lead? If we have to give sixth-grade girls shots of yet another vaccine is the slope that we would have to tell them more and more about sex, or that we would have to start giving them more and more vaccinations? Today, an HPV vaccine…tomorrow, a vaccine against, uh, herpes…by next year, we will be vaccinating our children against livestock-based STD’s. I don’t see it happening.

If the concern is about having to explain it to kids, a few questions:

  1. How many sixth-grade girls really listen to their parents? Seriously, I have no idea, but I doubt it’s a huge number.
  2. How is vaccinating someone against a virus that renders its victims infertile and/or kills them a bad thing? Why not play up the aspect of “this will protect you from an unpleasant bug” rather than “now you can shag little Johnny from down the street with reckless abandon”? It’s the religious conservatives who are constantly cataloguing the omnipresence of sexuality in our culture–a catalog I would totally want to see, BTW.

My point is this: kids aren’t taught sex ed, kids aren’t taught about contraception, kids aren’t protected against preventable STD’s, kids develop hormones, nature takes its course in secret because the ‘rents would totally freak, and then adults act surprised and horrified when teens turn up pregnant or with STD’s or cancer.

Sure it’s a slippery slope–I just have not been convinced that it’s a slope leading anywhere particularly bad.

And no, I don’t have kids. Anyone who thinks I lack the right/ability to opine on this subject because I am not a parent probably has kids who will grow up to join a Sataninc cult and/or lesbian commune to spite your haughty sense of morality. Or maybe I’m wrong.

BTW, WWJD? He seemed to have a thing for helping the sick. Preventing disease in the first place would have freed him up for even more miracles.

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Apocalypse soon to follow…

Texas Gov. urged against cancer order – Yahoo! News

I never thought I would see the day, but I agree with Texas Governor Rick Perry on something. The apocalypse cannot be far behind.

I don’t normally like government mandating much of anything, but mandatory vaccines are generally fine by me, unless there is clear evidence of adverse side effects that are worse than whatever they are vaccinating against.

Here, the adverse side effect, if I am understanding critics of the vaccine correctly, is rampant teenage fucking.

I have yet to see any particular study, or even an argument, demonstrating some likelihood that, if this vaccine becomes widely available, then we will all have to navigate through a dense gauntlet of naked adolescent flesh in flagrante delicto just to but groceries.

“Perry defended his decision, saying his fellow conservatives were wrong to worry that mandating the vaccine will trample parents’ rights and promote premarital sex.

“‘Providing the HPV vaccine doesn’t promote sexual promiscuity any more than providing the Hepatitis B vaccine promotes drug use,’ Perry said in a statement. ‘If the medical community developed a vaccine for lung cancer, would the same critics oppose it claiming it would encourage smoking?'”

Do people honestly believe that, upon being administered the vaccine, young Texans will instantly shed their clothing and go at it? They can’t, really. Do young Texans fell they need adult approval before doing that anyway? Of course not. Do kids even pay attention to what is being injected into them? I doubt it.

There must be some other rationale behind this opposition that has not occurred to me. The effect of the opposition, however, is clear. Women will continue to get HPV and, as a result, cervical cancer.

Answer me this, David Dewhurst, et al: why are you in favor of exposing children to the risk of HPV? I mean, if you have the tools to fight a threat, and you deny people said tools, aren’t you just as culpable for the harm caused by that threat as the threat itself?

Wake the f— up, people. People have sex. Remember when government officials told people they couldn’t drink alcohol? How’d that work out? Now imagine telling a bunch of kids not to shag. If you can be honest with yourselves for even one microsecond, you’ll see my point.

If one can accept the blindingly clear fact that people will have sex no matter what, the actions of a determined few to (a) deny young people education about sex and (b) deny young people the tools to do it safely are notihng less than criminal.

If you persist in opposing tools to help people protect themselves from illness, at least have the common human decency to personally visit every single HPV-positive cervical cancer patient in America to explain why your politics is more important than their lives.

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Conservatives want America to give in to Al Qaeda, but they are really encouraging all manner of vice and sin…

If one is to believe certain rhetoric, we were attacked on September 11, 2001, because of the excesses of American culture–specifically the parts of thge culture right-wingers don’t like. Now, it would seem that the best way to remove the threat of terrorism is to eliminate those parts of the culture that right-wingers don’t like. Admittedly, I haven’t read Dinesh D’Souza’s new book (I’ll stop by Book People one day and read it in store, so I don’t have to pay money for it), but that seems to be the logical conclusion of what I believe to be his thesis. Never mind that, if you talk to anyone who knows anything about the situation in the Middle East and Central Asia, you would likely find out that our culture is the least of their concerns.

I think the key concept to take from all this, though, is that the goals of many homegrown conservatives and the goals they impute to “the terrorists” are disturbingly similar, if not one and the same. That they can suggest that Americans themselves (ones they, coincidentally, have been railing against for some time) are to blame for America’s woes while their Chief Necromonger can go on TV and say this:

But the biggest problem we face right now is the danger that the United States will validate the terrorist’s [sic] strategy, that in fact what will happen here, with all of the debate over whether or not we ought to stay in Iraq, with the pressure from some quarters to get out of Iraq, if we were to do that, we would simply validate the terrorist’s strategy that says the Americans will not stay to complete the task…

Let me play a little logic game here, so keep in mind that I am not particularly advocating anything, just playing. In Cheney’s worldview, withdrawal from Iraq would “validate the terrorists’ strategy,” presumably because they want the U.S. to withdraw. The only course of action, therefore, is to pour more troops into Iraq–that sure will invalidate their strategy, won’t it? If they keep fighting, we’ll just keep sending more and more troops in.

Now, then, let us also take D’Souza’s suggestion that our “decadent American culture” has caused terrorists to seek to attack us. Ordinarily, my understanding of the right’s game plan is to reduce what they see as decadent (and I will just ad lib a bit here): profanity, sex education, drugs, pornography, the acceptance of any sexual relationship besides something you would allow your grandmother to watch, etc. However, if we accept D’Souza’s premises about the cause of terrorism against Americans, and Cheney’s idea about the best way to fight against their tactics (and if we accept many conservatives’ utter inability/refusal to distinguish between al Qaeda and the Iraqi insurgency), shouldn’t we be encouraging the “decadent American culture” to go whole hog? Cracking down on porn, or banning gay marriage, for example, only emboldens the enemy. Let’s not “validate the terrorists’ strategy” by giving them what they want. I say bring on the decadence!!! Conservatives demand it of you.

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Sex sells…education? Part two in an unintentional series

CTV.ca Hong Kong tutors market sex appeal

The other day, I posted about sexy baristas in Seattle, and I figured it was a random bit of news I stumbled across. Now I see this thing about sexy tutors in Hong Kong–again, I suppose I feel it is my duty to point these things out to the general public. It’s just that I think I last saw this as a bad joke in a movie (NOTE: I’m only linking to the clip referenced here–it’s too NC-17 for our younger readers.)

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What if they hosted a sex miseducation session and nobody came?

No one shows up for sex ed program

Apparently no one showed up for this Odessa information session on its abstinence-only sex “ed” program. I guess I can’t read too much into this, as the article does not provide much in the way of context, but it’s still quite amusing.

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Sex sells…coffee?

The Seattle Times: Local News: Some coffee stands get steamier

I just had to m ake a note of this. Apparently, since coffee shops outnumber humans 15 to 1 in Seattle, at least one shop is featuring scantily-clad baristas as a way of setting themselves apart. I’m sure this won’t backfire in any way at all. I guess sex can seel anything now. How long will it be before Lindsay Lohan appears wrapped in nothing but the Washington Post, saying something like “Nothing comes between me and the David Broder column…”

Actually, that’s not a bad idea.

Here’s one of my favorite examples of the concept (WARNING: Decidedly PG-13):

This one is noteworthy for the fact that it was even made at all (WARNING: Decidedly NC-17):

Kinda predictable in retrospect.

Anyway, there’s no particular point to this post, except that it gave me a quasi-intellectual excuse to link to some moderately dirty videos. And to make a broader societal point. About something.

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Pageant follies

I think three times makes a trend, doesn’t it?

Miss USA keeps her crown
Miss Nevada USA loses crown
Miss New Jersey USA resigns over pregnancy

I have almost no opinions on the subject of beauty pageants and the like, except that there are only a few parts worth watching. I also don’t know what this says about society in a broader sense. I just know a mildly erotic sense of schadenfreude.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hTIwMCShu9k

“My personal demons pay to see your personal demons…”

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