It’s just fun to say, isn’t it? (h/t Atrios)
I wonder if it’s like the Great Pumpkin?
UPDATE (04/28/2008): PMI has a nice graphic addition to the mockery pile-on:
Great Porn Dragon – UPDATED!!!
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Category Archives: Sex
Acting shout-out: Todd Anderson in "North Country"
I watched the movie North Country this morning (h/t Netflix), a 2005 Oscar-baiting Charlize Theron film, and I have several salutes I have to make here.
First off, and obviously most importantly, it really is a pretty good film about the issue of sexual harassment, as well as how crappy it must be to work in an iron mine.
On a less-socially-conscious note, the film proves Carlize Theron is beautiful even with ridiculously-authentic ’80s hair, and it offers a glimpse of hometown hottie Amber Heard in the undoubtedly-daunting role of a young (teenaged) Charlize Theron.
Really though, the point of this post is this: I must tip my hat generally to the grotesque depiction the film offers of the types of harassment the women had to endure, and specifically to Todd Anderson, who portrays a mine worker whose preferred method of harassment is to ejaculate into Michelle Monaghan‘s locker. I single out Mr. Anderson for his courage and fortitude, based on the fact that he may forever be known, thanks to the film’s credits, as “Semen Man.”
That has got to be hell on a resume.
In support of redhead nudity
46.6%!
The purity test (h/t Kerry Howley), which guided my way through college, is back, and it’s grosser than ever. (The bar is way lower at Rice, as I score a 25% on that test.) This was something all Rice freshmen were supposed to take during orientation, to be used for comparison with your score upon graduation (I dropped by about 67% in four years!)
I’m now 17.48 points less pure than the average test taker, as it turns out.
Remembering Gary Hart
I’m reminded, as I read about Der Spitzer’s downfall, of what some comedian in the ’80s suggested Gary Hart should say in response to his scandal (it later became a bumper sticker):
Yeah, I fucked her. Vote for me.
At least it’s honest. And slightly less humiliating for the other parties involved.
Would you pay $4,300 to *********?
We really don’t know anything more than we knew yesterday about Mr. Spitzer that’s actually useful, but at least the AP’s shameful hounding of the call girl’s family has yielded the revelation that she’s pretty hot.
$4,300 hot? Eh, maybe.
Of course, leave it to Fox News to include pictures of all the other agency ladies. Still, any excuse to plaster the news media with hotties is fine by me. Courtney Friel, anyone?
Malum prohibitum: Why is the basic transactional part of prostitution illegal, anyway? – UPDATED
It’s pretty much par for the course nowadays that more than a few authority figures love the outside-the-mainstream kinky stuff. I have about as much sympathy for Eliot Spitzer as I did for Larry Craig (i.e. none). Still, there is a looming and largely unasked question here: Why is the act of two consenting adults, in private, agreeing to exchange money for sex a crime? Above all, why is it a federal crime in this case? Glenn Greenwald explores this question in some depth, as does Digby. I also recommend Digby’s post for its historical review of the Mann Act, the archaic 1910 federal law invoked to federally prosecute prostitution-related offenses.
In all seriousness, while I think Eliot Spitzer deserves to be hoisted upon his own petard (I never get tired of that phrase), doesn’t the federal government have better things to do? Isn’t there a war still going on or something?
Some discussion of the question (thanks to a quick and highly unscientific Google search) can be found here, here, here, here, here, and here. A common thread among arguments for keeping prostitution illegal involves legalization’s supposed windfall for pimps and its further demeaning effect on women, not to mention an increase in human trafficking. I don’t want to pick on this site too much, because I know they do a lot of good work, but their “10 Reasons for Not Legalizing Prostitution” do not hold much water. A more in-depth look at this page may come in a future post. There is absolutely no denying that human trafficking and the continued subjugation of women is a problem all over the world. These are terrible problems that deserve smart, effective soultions. Wiretapping a guy who spends $1K-5K per hour for the services of an “escort” is not one of those solutions. Going after the traffickers, educating the women most likely to be victimized by said traffickers, and working to alleviate the conditions that might cause women to fall prey to a trafficker are more likely to help. But they won’t make for prurient headlines.
In a final note for the moment, I present further evidence regarding the death of irony (or at least one of its more pathetic gasps): Newsweek has commentary on the whole sordid affair from Heidi Fleiss.
UPDATE (3/13/08): Ditto everything Glenn Greenwald says here. Viva sarcasm!
It’s hard out here for a pimp
Rich dudes on business trips beware–Dallas women may drug and rob you:
Well-dressed men at posh Dallas hotels and bars are being targeted by a ring of flirtatious women who may be drugging them before swiping their watches and other expensive items, police said.
One man was injured when he was beaten, possibly by a high-heeled shoe, police said. Another lost his wallet while in his car with his pants around his ankles.
*****
The stylish W hotel in downtown Dallas is among the places where the scheme is said to have been run. Authorities said the women knew what they were looking for; several of the victims wore Rolex watches.
In one case, police said a 37-year-old Tampa, Fla., executive lost his iPod, laptop and $4,000 watch after accepting a beer from one of the women.
The women may be slipping drugs into the drinks of their victims, police said.
In addition to business travellers, Dallas police “suspect there are others too embarrassed to file police reports.” Way to take all the fun out of hotel bars.
Celebrating the 10th Monicaversary!
Drudge Retort has the news:
On the evening of Saturday January 17, 1998, the internet gossip merchant Matt Drudge posted a story that opened the most sensational scandal season in the history of the American presidency. He reported that Newsweek magazine had killed reporter Michael Isikoff’s story about President Clinton’s sexual relationship with a former intern. The next day he had her name: Monica Lewinsky.
Ah, sweet memories…times were so much simpler then, right?
Today in good taste
Here are two bits of news that brightened my day, at least somewhat:
1. A former executive for the company that makes Enzyte has testified as to its total inefficacy, further noting as follows:
In some cases, company founder Steve Warshak required customers seeking a refund to get a notarized doctor’s note stating the pill had no effect. “He said it was extremely unlikely someone would get anything notarized saying they had a small penis,” testified James Teegarden Jr.
2. The Virginia General Assembly is considering a bill to outlaw “bumper nuts,” those scrotum replicas you see hanging from the bumpers of trucks owned by people who don’t have any friends. Urban Dictionary defines them as “prosthetic testicles used to adorn the oversized vehicles of those who think very highly of themselves.” Lest you worry about the First Amendment implications, read on:
Objects that resemble human genitalia would be banned from display on vehicles, under a bill proposed Tuesday by Del. Lionell Spruill Sr.
The accessories, sometimes called “bumper nuts,” often are found on the back of pickups.
“They’re offensive to some folks,” said Spruill, a Chesapeake Democrat. “It’s OK to express yourself, but citizens have the right not to be subjected to something vulgar.”
Remember, the legal standard for “obscenity” is if “when taken as a whole, [it] lacks serious literary, artistic, political, or scientific value.” I don’t particularly support the bill, mostly on knee-jerk libertarian grounds, but I also don’t really worry that banning truck testicles is merely a gateway to substantially greater government control of speech.
I also don’t think it’s speech. It’s fake nuts hanging from a truck.