You Should be Watching True Detective

If you need specific reasons, try here, here, here, or here, but the number one reason was revealed tonight on ABC:


On a tangentially-related note, I jumped into the meme game here:

wooderson

I liked this one, too:

Poor Leo

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The Rarest Gummi of Them All

Yes, the Gummi Venus de Milo is real, apparently.

Homer: Ooh, Gummi bears! Gummi calves’ heads! Gummi jaw breakers! (Sees a Gummi figure rotating on a red pillow in a glass case.)

Homer: (Lustily) Ohh…What’s that?

Man: That is the rarest Gummi of them all, the Gummi Venus de Milo, carved by Gummi artisans who work exclusively in the medium of Gummi.

Marge: Will you two stop saying “Gummi” so much?

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In Case You Thought the Winter Olympics Weren’t Quite Silly Enough

I don’t know which is more questionably ingenious…

“Olympic Figure Farting” by Ghost+Cow Films:

Or “Star Wars OL” by YouTube user Natholdetpaatv2:

I’m gonna go with the Star Wars one, because of the video editing. Also, farts are gross.

(h/t to Joe Veix at Death and Taxes for both videos.)

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The Gold Medal for Not Drilling Oneself Into the Center of the Earth with Figure Skates Goes to…

…whomever this is:

(h/t TIPME)

Seriously, though, I get incapacitatingly dizzy spinning in a circle for more than five seconds, so respect.

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A Friendly Legal Reminder

It’s illegal to put squirrels down your pants for the purposes of gambling.

Don’t just take my word for it, though. Chief Wiggum says so. Continue reading

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What to Expect at the Sochi Olympics Opening Ceremony Tonight

You probably thought the Soviet Union broke up, right?

Yes, that's what we wanted you to think!!!

MUST CRUSH CAPITALISM

The Simpsons predicted it in 1998.

Via UTC_Hellgate and an unknown Reddit user.

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Life Imitates Stephen King

Ragen Chastain (who is one of the most awesome people I know) has a post on her blog about The Biggest Loser. She is not a fan.

The Biggest Loser has named a new champion.  Rachel Frederickson won the show by losing 60% of her body weight, going from 260 pounds to 105 pounds. This is a Biggest Loser Record. She lost the most and so she walked away with $250,000 because TBL is a game show wherein people manipulate their body size for money. It’s not a health show, it’s a game show. A terrible, terrible game show. [Emphasis added.]

By Courtney Szto [CC-BY-2.0 (http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/2.0)], via Wikimedia Commons

Jillian Michaels is very disappointed in you.

Most reality shows—well, the ones that don’t consist of cameras following minor celebrities or “real” people around and waiting for them to get into pointless fights with each other—are really just glorified game shows. I’m not knocking game shows. I’ve enjoyed a few game shows, and I admire that they admit that they are, in fact, game shows. Not so much with shows like The Biggest Loser, which seems to me, based on the little I’ve seen of it, to be entirely about people deemed overweight who volunteer to be abused on television by obnoxious exercise buffs.

The Biggest Loser uses the concept of health as an incentive, a smokescreen, and profit generator.  They use threats about, and promises of, health to convince fat people to be physically and mentally abused for profit.  They use the idea that they abuse fat people “for our own good to make us healthy” to help their audiences justify watching the physical and emotional abuse for entertainment.

Honestly, we are nearing the point Stephen King wrote about in his novella The Running Man, which was adapted almost beyond recognition for Arnold Schwarzenegger. Continue reading

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Let It Rain (UPDATED x 2)

Georges Biard [CC-BY-SA-3.0 (http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/3.0)], via Wikimedia CommonsPhilip Seymour Hoffman, as you’ve no doubt heard by now, died of an apparent drug overdose last weekend at the age of 46. He had struggled with addiction for years, been sober for decades, and only relatively recently relapsed. To say he was a talented actor seems a ridiculous understatement, but at the same time, to lament the loss of his talent seems insensitive and trite at the moment.

(The title of this post is a line from Along Came Polly, which I just watched for the first time the other day. While it is far from a great movie, it is classic Hoffman.)

The news of his death hit me pretty hard, certainly harder than any other celebrity death in recent years. Maybe it’s because we’re close to the same age, or maybe it’s because I identify with the tubby, socially awkward archetype he often portrayed. Maybe it’s because I’ve lost people to addiction and other demons, some quite recently.

Maybe I feel a profound impact from this, not because his death seems so senseless (even though it does), but because I can envision a scenario in which it would seem to make perfect sense. I have been fortunate in that my issues with addiction have not threatened me in such a critical way, but I am still a recovering addict who knows how quickly the real world can slip away.

I started collecting articles written about him, and about the issues he has brought to light, since last weekend. They represent some of the best ways to respond to such a tragedy, and a few of the worst. Continue reading

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Optimistic SciFi

Rob Bricken at io9 answered a question last week about the seeming dearth of optimism in science fiction these days, and he initially responds that “[s]tories need conflict, and having optimistic futures where humanity got their shit together narrows the possibilities of what your protagonist has to struggle against.”

This certainly explains movies like Elysium, Avatar, and the Hunger Games series, but Bricken notes that even the paragon of future optimism, Gene Rodenberry’s Star Trek, has gotten the cynical treatment in the reboots:

The original Trek series — and the movies — and to an extent the series following it — were optimistic, that showed us a better future, that gave us hope that humanity might not fuck it all up. And then the new Trek movies completely ditch all that for the same old shit we’ve seen in everything else — violence, disaster porn, and war. I’m not such a Trek fan that this is such a betrayal of Gene Roddenberry’s vision that it keeps me up at night, but I do miss what made Star Trek so unique and charming.

This got me thinking about my personal favorite Trek series, Deep Space Nine. I liked it for the fact that it was darker and grittier than the other Trek series, but I think I realize now that part of what made DS9 so good was that it existed in this broader universe of optimism. To put it in cheesy terms, DS9 was good because it allowed its protagonists to be bad in a universe that was mostly good. If you look at it that way, DS9 may have been the most optimistic Trek show of them all. Continue reading

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I Wonder If Treasury Has an Accounts Payable Department

I don’t know much about Skinny Puppy or their music, but a few minutes on YouTube suggests two things: (1) I would have loved them when I was 16 and going through my industrial music phase, and (2) a whole lot of their music, played very loud and against my will, would probably make me very suggestible.

It should not be much of a surprise, then, to learn that the U.S. government has reportedly used their music on Guantanamo detainees, and not during recreation time. They also apparently did not clear any music rights.

Did Skinny Puppy, from the great socialist northern neighbor, Canada, sue the government? No, they did perhaps the most capitalist thing imaginable: they sent the government an invoice. Continue reading

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