The Most Interesting Name in the World

Posted on May 28, 2014 by wellsdc

The Dos Equis advertising campaign “The Most Interesting Man in the World” has been around since 2006, and it’s still producing some awesomely clever stuff.

The actor who portrays the titular character has stated that Fernando Lamas, who was a personal friend, partly inspired the character—which, let’s face it, is awesome.

They never reveal the Most Interesting Man’s name, though, because frankly, nothing can compare to whatever name our imaginations can conceive. The actor’s name is Jonathan Goldsmith. From an American perspective (well, my middle-class white American perspective), that’s not a very, um, interesting name, but I had a bit of fun with Bing Translator and have a suggestion.

“Goldsmith” doesn’t have a Spanish translation (I’m starting with the assumption, based on the character’s accent, that he would have a Spanish name). Neither does “Jonathan.” If you translate the component words of “Goldsmith” (adapting “smith” to “blacksmith” for Translator purposes), and make some tweaks to the first name, you get a pretty cool-sounding name: Continue reading →

The Producers of “Lost,” Which Turns 10 This year, Answer None of the Questions I Still Have about the Show

Posted on May 21, 2014 by wellsdc

Copyright ABC, via Lostpedia This fall will mark the 10th anniversary of the premiere of Lost on ABC. The show holds some sort of iconic status, which is mostly deserved—particularly for whetting people’s appetite for long-form serial TV shows and stringing a mystery along for years. Shows like Game of Thrones owe a certain debt to Lost. (Spoilerish stuff ahead.)

All of that said, I don’t know of anyone who didn’t feel, at minimum, disappointed by Lost‘s conclusion. As series finales go, it was pretty low on the hierarchy of awesomeness. (Compare, for example, the moral closure of Breaking Bad or the world-changing subversion of destiny of Buffy the Vampire Slayer.)

The show also created some interesting and memorable characters, but only a few of them really got a good character arc. Sawyer in particular comes to mind. Most of the time, the characters existed solely in service of the plot, which is not a bad thing when the plot knows where it is going. John Locke, as portrayed by Terry O’Quinn, could have been a legendary television character, but wasn’t. To be fair, Lost was an ensemble show, rather than a character-driven show like Breaking Bad, which created numerous memorable characters in the service of telling one person’s story. Ensemble shows are capable of creating incredibly powerful character arcs, though, as evidenced by The Walking Dead‘s Carol Peletier (Melissa McBride). Continue reading →

The First Time “Alien” Disappointed Us

Posted on May 20, 2014 by wellsdc

I was just thinking about the moment in 1992 when the Alien franchise stopped being completely awesome. Alien³ was a decent movie in its own right, but it did not measure up to its predecessors. It didn’t help that it started out with a pretty epic bait & switch:

Yup, it really said “In 1992, we will discover on Earth, everyone can hear you scream.”

The actual theatrical trailer combined some pretty good teasers with some pretty bad cheese: Continue reading →

What I’m Reading, May 12, 2014

Posted on May 12, 2014 by wellsdc

By Vegas Bleeds Neon (Own work) [CC-BY-SA-3.0 (http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/3.0)], via Wikimedia Commons Sixteen Things Calvin and Hobbes Said Better Than Anyone Else, Edd McCracken, Book Riot, February 6, 2012

On life’s constant little limitations

Calvin: You know, Hobbes, some days even my lucky rocket ship underpants don’t help.

On expectations

Calvin: Everybody seeks happiness! Not me, though! That’s the difference between me and the rest of the world. Happiness isn’t good enough for me! I demand euphoria!

***

On the unspoken truth behind the education system

Calvin: As you can see, I have memorized this utterly useless piece of information long enough to pass a test question. I now intend to forget it forever. You’ve taught me nothing except how to cynically manipulate the system. Congratulations. Continue reading →

What I’m Reading, April 25, 2014

Posted on April 25, 2014 by wellsdc

By Robin klein (Own work) [CC-BY-SA-3.0 (http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/3.0)], via Wikimedia Commons Put Your Money Where Your Mouth Is, evolved beyond the fist mistermix, Balloon Juice, April 19, 2014

The Will/Krauthammer justification for unlimited campaign contributions is that it is free speech protected by the Constitution, and it’s just a happy coincidence that the political party they back has more money to spend on political donations. Now that they’ve installed a Supreme Court that agrees with them, they’re trying to turn the reasonable consequences of free speech into some form of persecution.

Hellraiser vs. The Hellbound Heart, Mark Pellegrini, Adventures in Poor Taste, October 12, 2012

Personally, I prefer Hellraiser over The Hellbound Heart just as I prefer Candyman over The Forbidden; I found it took all the elements I enjoyed from the story and improved upon them. However, there were a couple of items from the book which I either liked better or thought added a bit more to the story. In the book, when Frank summons the Cenobites, they make him feel every orgasm he’s ever had in his entire life all at once before tearing him to pieces (as opposed to the movie, where they just eviscerate Frank as soon as they arrive). This was important to the plot in that the spillage of Frank’s semen acted as a catalyst to his resurrection when Raury/Larry spilled his blood in the attic. Additionally, this version better represented the “pleasure and pain unified” concept which the Cenobites are supposed to embody. I suppose the only other detail from the book which I wish had made it into the film is what happened after Kirsty made her deal with the Cenobites. In the book, they give her a time limit and as each minute passes she can feel an invisible “noose” squeeze tighter around her neck. This added a bit of suspense to the climax, as Kirsty struggles to get Frank to verbally admit to his escape from Hell.

Technically, this is from “Hellraiser 2,” but shut up.

Continue reading →

What I’m Reading, April 23, 2014

Posted on April 23, 2014 by wellsdc

David Jackmanson [CC BY 2.0 (https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/2.0/)], via Flickr Apparently, We Need To Remind People That Pro-Choice Women Are Allowed To Have Babies, Samantha Lachman, Huffington Post, April 17, 2014

Chelsea Clinton is pregnant, and some anti-abortion activists responded to the news Thursday by showing they don’t understand what being “pro-choice” means: being able to choose to have a baby, or not.

White Supremacist’s Genocidal Paranoia: Inside the Mind of the White Man March Founder, Toby McCasker, AlterNet, April 19, 2014

Masked ethnic nationalism had been enjoying a nice stay as a dot-point in the “dark enlightenment” of the so-called neo-reactionary movement, but bigotry is never content to be itemized. Say hi to nuwe racism, and the composite ire-ony of using the Afrikaans for “new” here seems so complexly black and white as to transcend meta. Hyper-aware there is less and less room on earth for old hate, nuwe racists dress their prejudice in conspiracy and pseudoscience and call it “pride.” Pride is a much more appealing sin than wrath, and allows them to, heinously, plead victimhood just as they pursue a policy of victimization. It is like punching someone and getting angry at them for hurting your fist.

Continue reading →

Creepy Reading: Girl with the Skeleton Hand

Posted on April 20, 2014 by wellsdc

I found “Girl with the Skeleton Hand,” by Ananth Panagariya and Yuko Ota, via Imgur. Here’s a sample:

The stories are actually quite touching, and not so much creepy, but they balance quite deftly between the two themes.

You can find more of their work at Johnny Wander.

“If you strip away the myth from the frog”: Exploring Muppet Christ Superstar

Posted on April 19, 2014 by wellsdc

Via correliebre.tumblr.com

This is the weekend that I tend to get songs from Jesus Christ Superstar stuck in my head, so the idea of doing the show with Muppets struck me as both deranged and inspired:

Here’s a question we never thought to ask: how would Andrew Lloyd Webber’s rock opera about the life of Jesus play with the Muppets? Now we know, thanks to the Muppet Christ Superstar album, with Kermit as Jesus, Gonzo as Judas, Miss Piggy as Mary Magdalene, and a chorus of clucking proto-Christian chickens.

Mind you, this is extremely unofficial.

Christo Graham recorded the unauthorized Muppet Christ Superstar, with the singers doing their best imitations of the Muppets. As weird as the concept is, it’s actually pretty fantastic in places, especially with the Electric Mayhem as Jesus’ followers—and Beaker meeping his way through “Simon Zealotes.” In other places, though, the voices are a bit off, particularly in the more emotional moments. Give it a listen.

Muppet Christ Superstar by Christo Graham

<a href="http://christophergraham.bandcamp.com/album/muppet-christ-superstar">Muppet Christ Superstar by Christo Graham</a>

Photo credit: Via correliebre.tumblr.com.

“All right. I’ll die.”

Posted on April 17, 2014 by wellsdc

What with tomorrow being Good Friday and all:

Creepy Reading: The Enigma of Amigara Fault

Posted on April 13, 2014 by wellsdc

Today’s recommended reading: The Enigma of Amigara Fault by Junji Ito. I don’t even know how to describe it. It certainly channels H.P. Lovecraft, but the story operates on a much more personal level.

Click the first page to go to the entire story, which is posted at OpenAwesome.com. Remember that manga are printed right-to-left, so read accordingly:

It’s also posted at the delightfully-named brasscockroach.com.

Cryptic Philosopher

Reminders of a Simpler Time, When People Wore Bigger Lapel Pins

Category Archives: Entertainment