Mighty Orbots???

Posted on August 16, 2007 by wellsdc

I somehow missed these gems of ’80s cartoon shows:

There really was a show called Dinosaucers. Somehow, history has mostly forgotten the show…can’t imagine why.

I actually remember M.A.S.K., a little bit.

Basically, though, it would appear that everything is a derivative of Battle of the Planets, Transformers, Gobots, and Speed Racer, or some combination thereof. I’m especially amazed they were able to attach a plot to Pole Position.

I’m leaving Jem out on purpose, by the way.

While we’re at it, enjoy some ’80s commercials as well:

Where do people get these from? VHS tapes generally don’t survive that long.

One final question: wouldn’t being hit by a giant piece of fruit provoke some reaction other than laughter? I guess I just don’t get Bonkers.

This one is just painful to watch…poor George.

T’underin’ Jaysus, do ye think I’m dead?

Posted on August 16, 2007 by wellsdc

For no reason whatsoever, I now present the full lyrics to Finnegan’s Wake:

Tim Finnegan lived in Walkin Street, a gentle Irishman mighty odd
He had a brogue both rich and sweet, an’ to rise in the world he carried a hod
You see he’d a sort of a tipplers way but the love for the liquor poor Tim was born
To help him on his way each day, he’d a drop of the craythur every mornWhack fol the dah now dance to yer partner around the flure yer trotters shake
Wasn’t it the truth I told you? Lots of fun at Finnegan’s WakeOne morning Tim got rather full, his head felt heavy which made him shake
Fell from a ladder and he broke his skull, and they carried him home his corpse to wake
Rolled him up in a nice clean sheet, and laid him out upon the bed
A bottle of whiskey at his feet and a barrel of porter at his headWhack fol the dah now dance to yer partner around the flure yer trotters shake
Wasn’t it the truth I told you? Lots of fun at Finnegan’s WakeHis friends assembled at the wake, and Mrs Finnegan called for lunch
First she brought in tay and cake, then pipes, tobacco and whiskey punch
Biddy O’Brien began to cry, “Such a nice clean corpse, did you ever see,
Tim avourneen, why did you die?”, “Will ye hould your gob?” said Paddy McGeeWhack fol the dah now dance to yer partner around the flure yer trotters shake
Wasn’t it the truth I told you? Lots of fun at Finnegan’s WakeThen Maggie O’Connor took up the job, “Biddy” says she “you’re wrong, I’m sure”
Biddy gave her a belt in the gob and left her sprawling on the floor
Then the war did soon engage, t’was woman to woman and man to man
Shillelagh law was all the rage and a row and a ruction soon beganWhack fol the dah now dance to yer partner around the flure yer trotters shake
Wasn’t it the truth I told you? Lots of fun at Finnegan’s WakeMickey Maloney ducked his head when a bucket of whiskey flew at him
It missed, and falling on the bed, the liquor scattered over Tim
Bedad he revives, see how he rises, Timothy rising from the bed
Saying “Whittle your whiskey around like blazes, t’underin’ Jaysus, do ye think I’m dead?”Whack fol the dah now dance to yer partner around the flure yer trotters shake
Wasn’t it the truth I told you? Lots of fun at Finnegan’s WakeWhack fol the dah now dance to yer partner around the flure yer trotters shake
Wasn’t it the truth I told you? Lots of fun at Finnegan’s Wake

Now please stop playing that annoying song!!!

Posted on August 10, 2007 by wellsdc

Amy Winehouse is in rehab.

Insert ironic comment here.

Generation Chickenhawk in action!!!

Posted on August 10, 2007 by wellsdc

Mitt Romney, on the courageous service of his progeny:

“One of the ways my sons are showing support for our nation is helping me get elected because they think I’d be a great president.”

Yes, this is true American valor. I can’t wait for the Michael Bay film that’s sure to follow–let’s call it the “Flying Romneys” and cast Matt Damon as Tagg. There’s bound to be a part for Clint Eastwood, too.

P.S. – No disrespect is intended to Clint Eastwood or Matt Damon. Your movies rock. I’d like to see Clint play Bourne, Sr.

Stick that magnetic ribbon

Posted on August 8, 2007 by wellsdc

This has been around a while, but the Asylum Street Spankers still say it better than most:

My Simpsons doppelganger

Posted on August 8, 2007 by wellsdc

Thanks to the shameless commercialism of the Simpsons, I now know what I would look like in the Simpsons universe:

Try it, if you dare.

Lots of fun at Makem’s wake

Posted on August 4, 2007 by wellsdc

I only just heard about the passing of Tommy Makem, the great Irish folk signer, via Jesus’ General, and I am enjoying the playlist he created in Mr. Makem’s honor. You may also enjoy my playlist, which is still something of a work-in-progress:

Slime in the ice machine no more

Posted on July 30, 2007 by wellsdc

As a former Houstonian, I ponder the passing of Marvin Zindler, the toupee-wearing, slime-in-the-ice-machine-exposing, Chicken-Ranch-closing weirdo of Houston’s Eyewitness News. No one will ever wear unnaturally-tinted sunglasses indoors the way you did.

Say it with me: Maaaaaaaaaaarvin Zindler, Eyyyyeeeeeeewiiitnessss Neeeeewwwwwsssss!!!!!!

America’s fucked-up priorities

Posted on July 29, 2007 by wellsdc

Just read this. Then get mad and say fuck. It won’t hurt anyone.

Less than met the eye

Posted on July 15, 2007 by wellsdc

It’s been a week since I saw the Transformers movie, so I’ve had a chance to process my thoughts on the matter. In short, I have concluded that I have no coherent thoughts other than the following (SPOILER ALERT, sort of):

1. Glenn Morshower remains one of the most criminally-underrated actors out there–although I still haven’t seen season 6 of 24, he portrays one of the only non-Jack-Bauer characters to survive five straight seasons.
2. Megan Fox almost supplants Charlize Theron for my title of too-beautiful-to-be-human. Almost.
3. Questions regarding the consistency, coherence, or even plausibility of the central plot and various plot points are pointless. There is an item sought by everyone in the movie that has the power to turn ordinary electronic items into evil robots. For no stated reason, it cannot create good robots. Whether this is a meditation on the ubiquity of evil in the universe and the ease by which the ordinary can become the malevolent, or whether this is a complete failure of imagination on the part of the screenwriters, is of no interest to me.
4. Bumblebee is supposed to be a VW Bug, dammit! OK, I’m over it.
5. Character development. It’s important to a movie. Who the fuck are all these Decepticons that show up in the last twenty minutes? It’s as though the writers suddenly remembered, in the final moments of the movie, that they needed some sort of resolution with the bad guys they had been ignoring. Plus, I didn’t even notice that Megatron was voiced by Agent Smith.
6. Good call not making Megatron a large robot who turns into a small gun. It’s nice to see at least one shout-out to the laws of physics. Plus, he’s scarier this way.
7. It’s good to see that the guy who voices Optimus Prime can keep it on his resume for this film.
8. Summer movies and deep thought do not go together.
9. Despite several hours of inundation with the message, I still don’t want to buy a Camaro.

Cryptic Philosopher

Musings and Mental Meanderings

Category Archives: Entertainment