Via southpark.wikia.com

Rick Scarborough thinks that the threat of homosexuality merits a class action lawsuit similar to those waged against the tobacco industry, according to Right Wing Watch. In a conversation with Peter LaBarbera, they reportedly said:

Scarborough: Peter, the whole issue of a class action lawsuit, you and I have talked about this a little bit. I just wonder if you’ve explored that, talked to anyone about it. Obviously, statistically now even the Centers for Disease Control verifies that homosexuality much more likely leads to AIDS than smoking leads to cancer. And yet the entire nation has rejected smoking, billions of dollars are put into a trust fund to help cancer victims and the tobacco industry was held accountable for that. Any thoughts on that kind of an approach?

LaBarbera: Yeah I think that’s great. I would love to see it. We always wanted to see one of the kid in high school who was counseled by the official school counselor to just be gay, then he comes down with HIV. But we never really got the client for that.

Are they talking about suing school counselors? Is Big Gay composed of people with bachelor’s degrees in social work who are employed by county-level school districts? As far as corporate conspiracies go, that’s pretty darn thin.

Seriously, though, whom does he intend to sue? You have to identify and serve a defendant to have a lawsuit. No matter how difficult obtaining service of process may be—even if you have to go through a back door—you can’t have a lawsuit without a defendant and adequate notice. Otherwise, who’s going to set up a trust fund for AIDS victims that’s analogous to the fund set up for cancer victims? I ask because it sure as shit isn’t going to be Rick Scarborough or Peter LaBarbera.