You may have heard of Rule 34, as defined in xkcd: if you can think of it, there’s probably already porn of it on the internet somewhere.
I saw this on Facebook today, posted by Thomas:
I am therefore proposing Rule 01: if you can think of something tacky, it is probably already available for sale online as a redneck accessory. Continue reading
It seems like we have enough issues to worry about in America, that we don’t need to contrive concerns that the supposed adoption of medical codes originally created by the World Health Organization is somehow a threat to American sovereignty. (WARNING: Don’t click that link if you don’t want a huge heaping helping of paranoia and dumb.)
![Black Santa and Presents by soulchristmas [CC BY 2.0], via Flickr](http://crypticphilosopher.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/12/342794052_52016eb707-225x300.jpg "Black Santa and Presents by soulchristmas [CC BY 2.0], via Flickr")
Via Flickr
A suburban Albuquerque teacher who told a black student that Santa Claus is white has been placed on paid administrative leave.
Rio Rancho school district spokeswoman Kim Vesely confirmed on Tuesday that the teacher is out of the classroom while the incident is being investigated.
The teacher’s comments came after students at Cleveland High School were told they could come to class dressed as Santa, an elf or a reindeer.
Michael Rougier says when his ninth-grade son, Christopher, arrived with a Santa hat and beard, the teacher asked, “Don’t you know Santa Claus is white? Why are you wearing that?”
The incident happened the same week that Fox News Channel’s Megyn Kelly said both Santa Claus and Jesus were white.
It’s one thing to shout “Santa is white” into the void on a TV show few people really think is “news” anymore. It’s something else entirely to say it to a kid standing right in front of you and dressed as Santa. WTH, people?
Photo credit: Black Santa and Presents by soulchristmas [CC BY 2.0], via Flickr.
I cannot think of any way to view this except as an act of desperation. Here are two dudebros who apparently felt offended when a barista told them “happy holidays” instead of “merry Christmas.” Rather than ponder how this simple act of politeness might reflect a broader, more diverse world than they seem capable of imagining, they decided to sink some money into a white-boy rap video.
I don’t think it’s even worth pointing out that Christmas is not the only holiday in December, or that Jesus almost certainly was not born in December (assuming he ever existed at all in any form resembling the various accounts in the Bible), because this is not about historical accuracy. This is about a few Christian dudebros desperately trying to cling to whatever sort of cultural prominence (or even dominance) they think they deserve, presumably on account of being Christian white males in the U.S. of A.
Every year, it gets considerably more pathetic. As Robyn Pennacchia writes:
[T]hese dudes are awfully smug. “The Gospel is true even if you don’t believe it,” my ass. It’s your religion. It’s fine that it’s yourreligion, but it’s not my religion and I do not have to think it’s true. That’s not how religion works.
For the record, let me just say again–it is weird to get mad at people for being polite and friendly. That person at the coffee shop didn’t have to say anything to you. She was not required to say anything other than “Here is your coffee.” She could have said “Here’s your coffee, and your shirt is dumb.” Frankly, if you’re going to have that kind of a reaction to someone wishing you “Happy Holidays!” I hope no one is ever polite or friendly to you again. You don’t deserve it.
Can I just enjoy the holiday season, please? There is plenty of room for you and all your dudebro friends in this vibrant, diverse world in which we live. But you have to learn how to share, and how to play nice. You’re not doing that right now.
The brouhaha over that Duck Dynasty guy losing one public forum to spew ignorance has really brought out the wacky (h/t BooMan):
Embattled “Duck Dynasty” star Phil Robertson has been suspended from his show by A&E for his remarks about gays and African-Americans, and now some high-profile conservatives are rallying to his side and defending him. On Friday, GOP congressional candidate Ian Bayne went all in, comparing Robertson to civil rights icon Rosa Parks.
“In December 1955, Rosa Parks took a stand against an unjust societal persecution of black people, and in December 2013, Robertson took a stand against persecution of Christians,” Bayne said in an email to supporters.
“What Parks did was courageous,” he added. “What Mr. Robertson did was courageous too.”
This is so beyond the realm of the merely stupid that it makes me sad. Continue reading
Via Talking Points Memo:
Forty two percent of Republicans believe Santa Claus is not just white but “verifiably white,” while 23 percent said he is not, according to the poll. Only 24 percent of Democrats, on the other hand, said he was “verifiably white” while 48 percent said he is not.
I have two thoughts on this.
First, I guess there is some truth to the notion that “both sides do it,” at least when applied to naïve stupidity. Republicans are still much better at it.
Second, I urge those 42% of Republicans (and the 24% of a Democrats because why not?) to put their money where their mouths are and verify that Santa is white.
I don’t care if you have to travel by one of those icebreaker ships, a dogsled, or on the back of a polar bear somehow, but get your asses to the North Pole and show us the Claus.
Seriously, pics or GTFO.
As near as I can tell, Bobby Constantino means very well. The former Boston-area prosecutor has some efforts to his name aimed at facilitating people’s exit from the big house, he reached out to the classmates of a Boston Marathon bombing victim, and he went to some rather extreme lengths to protest the initial handling of the George Zimmerman case. His recent piece in The Atlantic, however, is basically the epiphany of someone who spent years sending people to jail, but only just now figured out that jail sucks. I Storified some good tweets about it (if you can’t see it embedded below, go here):
The following comment (on Ragen’s post) may explain everything about Santa Claus, including the asinine Fox News racial dispute:
Considering Santa’s not real, he can be whatever the hell race we want him to be. I personally believe Santa’s a Time Lord, and his sleigh is really a TARDIS. How else could he possibly deliver all those presents in one one night without a little wibbly-wobbly timey-wimey stuff?
I covered up the identifying info, but the commenter is welcome to claim credit if they want—or I’ll give credit upon request. I’m pretty flexible and occasionally a pushover 🙂
At present, Canada, Russia, and Denmark are sort of engaged in a dispute over who actually has territorial sovereignty over the North Pole.
Fox News may have assured us that Santa Claus is white (sarcastic whew!), but they’re clearly missing the larger point here: no matter which way you slice it, Santa Claus is not American.
Denmark may have delicious breakfast pastries, but we all know that they are a bunch of socialists whose policies would mildly inconvenience those in America’s highest income brackets—in today’s political environment, that is of course synonymous with evil.
If Santa is Russian, that means we were allowing a Soviet agent unfettered access to U.S. airspace for decades. Someone should impeach Obama for that.
If Santa turns out to be Canadian? Well, Canada ain’t America, is it?
Is Santa Claus getting a visa every year to come into the U.S.? I could do a FOIA request to find out, but instead I’m just going to declare that he isn’t because freedom.
Fox News needs to get on the case of this taker who’s coming to this country illegally in order to give handouts to people who can’t even be bothered to work full-time jobs.
(NOTE: I have not been feeling very verbose in recent days, so much of my blogging activity has consisted of quoting extensively from other people’s work. This post will be no different.)
Via ethanham.com
Emily Conyngham has an excellent post at Open Salon entitled “Seven Steps to Becoming a Superior Writer.” Note that she did not say a good writer, or even a successful one, but a superior writer. Presumably, the sort of writer who always wears turtlenecks and emits self-importance that way that some of us emit perspiration. But I digress—she might be as big of a smartass as me, if not bigger. Here are a few enjoyable highlights:
1. If at all possible, arrange to be born in a small town, raised with traditional values, which you can laud as building your backbone. The insular environment can be reworked to other purposes; you escaped in the nick of time, with only your wits and a battered hand-me-down suitcase, as soon as you could save bus fare from your job shoveling pig swill. It does not hurt to have been poor, or at least poorer than your stupid neighbors. You can mock those gomers later, when you’re a degreed city dweller.
***
3. Hold grudges. These are precious fuel. Hopefully, you were tormented by the other children for being different. You should Never, Ever forget their cruelty, especially that of Homer Finkelheimer, who will don a different disguise and appear in Every Single Thing you write. Your repeated mutilations of his sorry carcass will become the art for which you will be famed. To be a “Finkelheimer” will become part of the common lexicon, synonomous with the nether regions of the male anatomy.
*** Continue reading
