“How Dare You Wish Me ‘Happy Holidays’?” Sing Two Dudebros

Posted on December 22, 2013 by wellsdc

I cannot think of any way to view this except as an act of desperation. Here are two dudebros who apparently felt offended when a barista told them “happy holidays” instead of “merry Christmas.” Rather than ponder how this simple act of politeness might reflect a broader, more diverse world than they seem capable of imagining, they decided to sink some money into a white-boy rap video.

The video is only 2 minutes and 29 seconds long, but I think I only made it about halfway through. I apologize for subjecting you to that.

I don’t think it’s even worth pointing out that Christmas is not the only holiday in December, or that Jesus almost certainly was not born in December (assuming he ever existed at all in any form resembling the various accounts in the Bible), because this is not about historical accuracy. This is about a few Christian dudebros desperately trying to cling to whatever sort of cultural prominence (or even dominance) they think they deserve, presumably on account of being Christian white males in the U.S. of A.

Every year, it gets considerably more pathetic. As Robyn Pennacchia writes:

[T]hese dudes are awfully smug. “The Gospel is true even if you don’t believe it,” my ass. It’s your religion. It’s fine that it’s yourreligion, but it’s not my religion and I do not have to think it’s true. That’s not how religion works.

For the record, let me just say again–it is weird to get mad at people for being polite and friendly. That person at the coffee shop didn’t have to say anything to you. She was not required to say anything other than “Here is your coffee.” She could have said “Here’s your coffee, and your shirt is dumb.” Frankly, if you’re going to have that kind of a reaction to someone wishing you “Happy Holidays!” I hope no one is ever polite or friendly to you again. You don’t deserve it.

Can I just enjoy the holiday season, please? There is plenty of room for you and all your dudebro friends in this vibrant, diverse world in which we live. But you have to learn how to share, and how to play nice. You’re not doing that right now.

If the Constitution Gives You Religious Pluralism, Make Lemonade

Posted on December 15, 2013 by wellsdc

Some day, conservative Christians may finally accept that they have always shared this country with people who don’t necessarily think like them, or at least that the First Amendment applies to all religions, not just theirs. Until then, we get to enjoy what may become a world-class display of religious diversity on the grounds of the Oklahoma Capitol.

Plus, we get to see how the conservative media can try to spin it in their own favor, or at least against people they don’t like. That’s how we got this delightful Washington Times headline: “Atheists smug as Hindus join Satanists to demand display at Oklahoma Statehouse.”

Religious Liberty for Us, at Least..

Posted on December 13, 2013 by wellsdc

The people who are trying to redefine “religious liberty” as the right to force others to reshape their lives around the personal beliefs of a particular subset of conservative Christians either never intended the term to apply to anyone but themselves (and no longer try very hard to hide it), or they really haven’t thought this through.

The Inefficiency of Republican Government: Christmas Edition

Posted on December 10, 2013 by wellsdc

I wonder if people will ever figure out that, by electing Republicans to office, they are making their rhetoric about the inefficiency of government into a self-fulfilling prophecy:

Texas Values, a faith-based political advocacy organization, on Monday hosted an educational event to make sure that parents, students and others know about House Bill 308, the so-called Merry Christmas Law that the Texas Legislature passed this year. The law is meant to to ensure that public school districts can educate students about the history of traditional winter celebrations and can use traditional winter greetings, such as “Merry Christmas” and “Happy Hanukkah,” without fear of litigation.

Then again, maybe people do realize it and just don’t care.

Corporations Don’t Go to Church

Posted on December 2, 2013 by wellsdc

Rick Santorum was defending the right of self-proclaimed Christian corporations to deny reproductive healthcare coverage because First Amendment:

“I mean, the idea that the First Amendment stops after you walk out of church, that it doesn’t have anything to do with how you live the rest of your life, I don’t know very many people of faith that believes that their religion ends with just worship.”

Someone needs to remind the ex-senator that this whole kerfuffle is about the supposed religious rights of corporations, not individuals. Unless people are attending church services specifically in the capacity of a representative of Hobby Lobby, corporations do not “walk out of church.” I’d say that Santorum doesn’t understand the distinction, but I suspect that he actually just doesn’t care.

He also had some odd words about the imposition of religious values:

“And President Obama is saying, ‘No, once you step outside that church, I get to impose my values on you, your religious values don’t matter anymore, it’s my values that I can impose on you,'” the Pennsylvania Republican continued. “I don’t think that’s what the First Amendment stands for. And I don’t think that’s what the court will say.”

See? It’s freedom of an employer’s religious beliefs, not freedom from an employer’s religious beliefs! I mean, that’s in The Federalist Papers, I think in the footnotes somewhere.

Stop Trying to Make “Hail Satan” Happen, Greg Abbott (UPDATED)

Posted on November 20, 2013 by wellsdc

Greg Abbott never could decide exactly how to respond to the stunt planned by his former staffer, Lorenzo Garcia, who is currently the UT chapter chair of Young Conservatives of Texas. As Joe Deshotel describes at Burnt Orange Report, he first threw Garcia under the bus, but then decided this was a good opportunity for political cheap shots. Most notable, of course, was his attempt to resurrect the “Hail Satan” nontroversy from this summer. He couldn’t even do that right, of course, claiming that it was a series of chants during Wendy Davis’ filibuster. It actually occurred during the protests that started with the second special session, and by all appearances it was actually a handful (at most) of kids who clearly did not realize that many people would actually take them seriously.

I tried to find any media coverage of the incident that wasn’t overblown and sensational. U.S. News and World Report called it heckling, which seems fair. The Blaze offered a grudgingly fair assessment with a shout-out to the nutters: “Obviously, it is much more likely that the abortion supporters were chanting ‘Hail Satan!’ to mock pro-lifers rather than actually hailing Lucifer, but anything is possible.” Of course, Natural News (via Infowars, of course), let the crazy fly:

Obviously, not all abortion activists are Satan worshippers, but you’ll notice that none of them have denounced the Satanists, either. By failing to denounce it, they effectively embrace and welcome Satan worship as part of their cause. [Emphasis in original.]

Somewhat hilariously, the episode drew the ire of actual Satanists: Continue reading →

It’s Like 10,000 Spoons, Sort Of

Posted on September 12, 2013 by wellsdc

Terry Jones, the pastor in Florida who seems to think overtly pissing off the world’s Muslims is a worthwhile use of his time, was unable to carry out his latest, possibly largest scheme, on account of being arrested.

Sheriff’s deputies arrested Pastor Terry Jones, 61, and his associate pastor, Marvin Sapp Jr., 34, on felony charges as he drove a pickup truck towing a large barbecue-style grill filled with Qurans soaked in kerosene. He had said he was heading to a nearby park to burn 2,998 Qurans — one for every victim of the Sept. 11, 2001, terrorist attacks. Sheriff’s officials said they would hold a news conference later Wednesday to discuss specific charges.

I don’t think it’s really necessary to rehash all of the reasons this guy is, uh, problematic, but I do have a question: how the hell does one come up with 2,998 Qurans? Costco?

Signal Boost: A Teen’s Brave Response to “I’m Christian, Unless You’re Gay”

Posted on August 18, 2013 by wellsdc

Dan Pearce, who blogs at Single Dad Laughing, wrote an amazing post nearly two years ago entitled “I’m Christian, unless you’re gay.” The post talks about Pearce’s 27 year-old friend Jacob, who is gay, and who had lost any connection to almost all of his friends and family as a result.

“Every single person I’ve told has ditched me. They just disappear. They stop calling. They remove me on Facebook. They’re just gone,” he said. “They can’t handle knowing and being friends with a gay person.”

I didn’t know what to say. So I didn’t say anything.

“You don’t know what it’s like, man. You don’t know what it’s like to live here and be gay. You don’t know what it’s like to have freaking nobody. You don’t know what it’s like to have your own parents hate you and try and cover up your existence. I didn’t choose this. I didn’t want this. And I’m so tired of people hating me for it. I can’t take it anymore. I just can’t.”

How do you respond to that?

I wanted to tell him it was all in his head. I knew it wasn’t. I wanted to tell him it would get better and easier. The words would have been hollow and without conviction, and I knew it.

You see, I live in this community too. And I’ve heard the hate. I’ve heard the disgust. I’ve heard the disdain. I’ve heard the gossip. I’ve heard the distrust. I’ve heard the anger. I’ve heard it all, and I’ve heard it tucked and disguised neatly beneath a wrapper of self-righteousness and a blanket of “caring” or “religious” words. I’ve heard it more times than I care to number.

That was in November 2011. Several months later, in April 2012, he posted a follow-up, entitled “A Teen’s Brave Response to ‘I’m Christian, Unless You’re Gay,'” in which a mother described how her teenage son came out to her via Pearce’s original post: Continue reading →

This Week in WTF, August 16, 2013

Posted on August 16, 2013 by wellsdc

Via Wikimedia Commons

– A group of Catholics have taken to gathering around a tree in Fresno, California because, according to them, the tree weeps God’s tears. An arborist who examined the tree reached a different conclusion, however, attributing the liquid seeping from the tree to something much more earthly:

The aphides [tree lice] will suck the sap, the sap goes through the aphid and then it is a honey dew excrement from the aphid and it gets so heavy in the summertime that it will drip down.

These tree lice are excreting God’s tears, or something.

– Imagine a cup, or a straw, that could detect the presence of date-rape drugs. A company in Boston, DrinkSavvy, Inc., is apparently working on it. Says the project’s founder:

DrinkSavvy’s ultimate goal is to use the success of this campaign to convince bars, clubs and colleges to make DrinkSavvy the new safety standard and eventually make drug-facilitated sexual assault a crime of the past.

I am both impressed at the idea and the technology, and depressed at the necessity of the idea. ThinkProgress bills it as a way “to combat sexual assault without victim blaming,” but it still seems to put the burden on the victim, e.g. “You got roofied? Why weren’t you using a DrinkSavvy straw?”

– An Austin man was arrested for allegedly firing a gun through his own front window—from the outside—because he thought he heard his wife having sex with someone inside. He claimed he heard his wife “groaning” and heard a man’s voice say that he had a gun, so he started shooting. His wife wasn’t actually at home. The bullet ended up in a neighbor’s bedroom, where two people had been sleeping peacefully. This is sort of what I mean when I talk about my right not to get shot by some other dude with Second Amendment rights.

Frisbeetarianism

Posted on July 23, 2013 by wellsdc

Via nosuchthingaswas.com Jim Wright, who blogs awesomely at Stonekettle Station, had the following to say about attempts by North Carolina Republicans to create a state religion earlier this year:

Listen, I’d be all for [a state religion] if it was Frisbeetarianism (you believe that when you die, your soul gets caught in a gust of wind and lands on the roof and you can’t get it down without a step ladder. There’s also Killer Frisbeetarianism, but that’s practiced mostly by college kids).

What?

Oh, right, you eat the flesh of your 2000 year old dead prophet and symbolically drink his blood, but Frisbeetarianism is silly. Got it.

Photo credit: Via nosuchthingaswas.com.

Cryptic Philosopher

Subtle, with a Hint of Whimsy

Category Archives: Belief