There are few things in this world I love more than the fair city of Austin, my home for the better part of the last eight years. This time of year, though, a feeling always comes over me…a feeling that maybe the price of hipness is too high. I’d like to take this opportunity to thank the many SXSW conference attendees who have descended on my town this week.

Thank you for allegedly bringing $38 million to the local economy.

Thank you for helping to put Austin on the map of important venues for the entertainment industry.

Thank you for demonstrating how crippling body odor and hair colors that do not occur anywhere in nature can actually be a mark of overbearing hipness.

Thank you for reminding me, several times each day, that the conference badge you are wearing really does mean that those “walk/don’t walk” lights all over downtown do not apply to you.

Thank you for affording me the opportunity to reflect on my home state by frequently beginning questions with “Why is it that in Texas…”

Thank you for comparing everything to how it is back in LA or New York, so I’ll know what we need to do to be more like you.

Thank you for helping to create such a paradoxical love/hate relationship with the whole SXSW shindig.

And finally, thank you for leaving at the end of the week.

It’s been real. See you next year. Remember, some of us may be armed.