(NOTE: I’m still catching up on my backlog, so some of these may not be especially timely.)

– Det regnar män. Halleluja!: Sweden came up with a fun way to address Russia’s recent spate of “no homo” legislation that is totally not trying to throw us off of anything. Okay, look, Russia and Belarus have known each other a long time, but they’re just bros, okay? Can we drop this now?

Oh, anyway, Sweden is trolling Russian submarines (which, I should mention, are long, hard, and full of seamen):

The Swedish Peace and Arbitration Society (SPAS) is to deal with encroaching Russian submarines in Swedish waters with a device emitting anti-homophobia Morse code.

The device – officially titled The Singing Sailor Underwater Defence System, but nicknamed the “gay sailor” – is a “subsurface sonar system”, which sends out the message: “This way if you are gay” in an attempt to deter apparently homophobic Russians.

(h/t Marcus)

BTW, yes, the title of this bit is Swedish, via Google Translate, for a certain well-known anthem.

– Wow, what a great idea!: The “mad scientist who treads too far into nature’s (or God’s, if you prefer) domain and dooms us all” is a popular trope in fiction. You might think it only exists in fiction, but then you might not have heard of the scientists who—apparently unintentionally—created a chicken embryo that bears a disquieting resemblance to a young velociraptor (h/t Tim). Let’s all just back away quietly from the science now….

– This one’s too easy: This fish, which lives in a cave system in Indiana, has an anus on its head (h/t Laura). Actually, this isn’t all that easy, because I can’t think of any jokes that aren’t completely and utterly obvious.

Instead, just watch this video that has Isabella Rosselini dressed like a snail in order to demonstrate their mating habits.

Starting around the 30-second mark, she demonstrates how snails sometimes poop on their own heads. You’re welcome.

– The bluest eyes in—wait, what?: Dr. Ian Crozier was, by all accounts, both a hero and a badass during the Ebola outbreak in Africa last year. He spent over a month at Emory University Hospital in Atlanta receiving treatment for Ebola infection. It turns out that a bit of the infection lingered in one of his eyes, causing it to turn from blue to green (h/t Paul).

Please try to offset any squickiness you might be feeling with this Crystal Gayle performance:

– Stupid life imitates brilliant art: Remember the scene in The Big Lebowski when Walter smashes Larry Sellers’ brand-new Corvette, except that it wasn’t Larry Sellers’ Corvette? Yeah, something like that actually happened in Florida, because of course it happened in Florida (h/t Little Lebowski Shop).

– Why spring cleaning is so important: If a critter gets into your house, it’s probably got a specific reason for doing so, and it’s not because it wants to binge-watch Netflix with you. It’s much more likely to be because it wants a sheltered (and preferably air-conditioned) location to give birth and, at least for some period of time, raise its brood.

So if you find a possum in your closet, be sure to check for baby possums (h/t Louren). If you just get rid of Mama Possum, it won’t be long before you have a different problem on your hands—specifically a “my house smells like a brood of dead baby possums hidden somewhere” type of problem.

– Some day, Australia will find a way to kill us all remotely: It rains spiders in Australia—or at least, it can, according to one scientist (h/t Sallie).

At this point, Australia, I kind of feel like we’re through. I mean, thank you, from the bottom of my heart, for Rose Byrne:

And Claudia Black:

And so on…

But I really feel like this whole “trying to kill all human life” thing is getting to be a bit much. It’s not you, it’s…….no, it’s definitely you.

Oh, thanks for koalas, too. They’re adorable.

– Australia redeems itself already: I don’t really understand where the depth of hatred for Nickelback comes from, but whatever. It does amuse me, though, that the Queensland Police Service, apparently in response to news of an upcoming Nickelback tour, put out posters claiming that the band was “wanted for crimes against music.”

I assume they weren’t serious, but it is Australia….

– Cannot be unseen: Hackers in Atlanta apparently decided that they wanted to make everyone in the vicinity of one electronic billboard immediately lose all belief that there is any good in this world, as they caused the billboard to display the image known as Goatse.

If you don’t know what I am talking about, please, do not Google any unfamiliar words in the previous paragraph. Instead, take a deep breath, ponder all that is good and right in your life, step back from your computer, power it off, and never, ever turn it on again. You are in possession of a part of your soul that is precious and should be cherished and protected. Don’t take that lightly, and please, don’t make the mistakes I have made.

---

Photo credit: Jkatsis2 (Own work) [CC BY-SA 3.0], via Wikimedia Commons.