– Marketing, meet chemistry: If it never occurred to you to put someone with a chemistry background on your marketing team, maybe it should now. The people behind a Jägermeister-sponsored party involving a pool thought it would be a cool effect to have mist coming off the water. When I think “mist,” I think dry ice, which is basically carbon dioxide frozen solid. It requires temperatures of about −78.5 °C (−109.3 °F).

For this party, though, it was definitely go big or go home. They apparently used liquid nitrogen, which requires a brisk −195.79 °C (−320 °F)—this is why it’s the mechanism of choice in Hollywood for freezing people and smashing heads or limbs (or, if it’s a Friday the 13th movie set in outer space, a hot blonde’s face ← do not click that link.)

Now, as you probably know, swimming pool water contains chlorine, usually calcium hypochlorite or a similar compound. The chlorine compound used in swimming pools tends to react with liquid nitrogen to form nitrogen trichloride, which has the properties of tear gas and can cause neurological damage.

It was not a fun party, as you might imagine (h/t Sebastian).

– That’s still not how you science: The work of the Large Hadron Collider is difficult for non-physicists (and even most physicists, I suspect) to understand, but I feel fairly confident that CERN’s researchers and technicians are not actively trying to contact “parallel universes” (h/t Jason).

– Where’s Mom when you need her? If you are not familiar with the “Men Going Their Own Way” (MGTOW) movement, don’t worry about it too much. It’s basically dudes who have given up on women, but generally feel the need to talk about it a lot where they think women can hear them. My main takeaway is that the majority of women don’t see this as any great loss. Anyway, apparently a few MGTOWers have begun to realize that, gender norms being what they are, some of their fellow MGTOWers might not the first freaking clue how to prepare food for themselves, and are trying to help out. To say this is the blind leading the blind would be, uh, pretty much accurate:

Now, the basic preparation of one of these frozen breasts is easy: remove from freezer and wrapping, plop onto a pan and place into a 450 degree Fahrenheit (about 230 Celsius) oven for about an hour or less.

While you are waiting, get on Twitter and give hell to any feminists you can find.

Amanda Marcotte, who, I should mention, is both a woman and a feminist with opinions and stuff, observes:

It appears that, just as he tries to convince you that his female-free existence is intentional, he meant to get so obsessed with harassing women online that he baked his chicken until it was a rubbery, tasteless mess.

Personally, I think he intended to prove to the world that he doesn’t need his food to be flavorful—or even chewable by ordinary human teeth—just as he doesn’t need any women sapping his precious bodily essences (or whatever it is they do) (h/t Alice). Even Homer Simpson could probably cook better than this.

Via Imgur

– Yet somehow no one got shot: Los Angeles police officers had a brief stand-off with a heavily-armed……statue (h/t Cop Block):

Officers from the Los Angeles Police Department stormed the headquarters for the Los Angeles-based independent game studio Robotoki. The company’s designer had pressed the building’s “panic” button for an unrelated issue. But, studio founder Robert Bowling explained, that this might have been all there was to the story, if it weren’t for the life-sized Call of Duty statue in the window that cops thought was a sniper.

The LAPD cops got in a tense standoff with what turned out to be a life-sized statue of Call of Duty: Modern Warfare 2‘s Simon “Ghost” Riley.

Naturally, the Call of Duty statue did not comply with police orders to drop its “weapon.”

The company had just installed the pain button because of threats it had received. The “unrelated issue” turned out to be mere curiosity:

“One of our designers, who shall not be shamed, pressed it on his way out because apparently when boys find buttons that they are unsure of, their first instinct is to push it.”

The studio founder was alone in the office when the police arrived, although they didn’t think he was alone. They ordered him out of his office and took him into custody until they determined that the threat was entirely inanimate. Apparently the officers were laughing when they left the building.