– Headline of the Decade: Kim Jong Un Went to a Lubricant Factory.

The article also wins Best Use of the Word “Effused”:

Touring both the factory floor and control rooms, Kim effused over the factory’s automation.

(h/t Bluegal)

– I bet you’ll read the fine print now: Side effects of a certain medication may include spontaneous orgasms.

– Saved by the Biebs: A Russian man narrowly escaped death at the hands paws of a bear thanks to a Justin Bieber ringtone:

Igor Vorozhbitsyn, a 42-year-old fisherman, was heading to his favorite fishing spot in Russia’s Yakutia Republic, when a bear started attacking him.

He probably would have been killed, too, if someone hadn’t tried to call him, setting off his ringtone, which played Justin Bieber’s “Baby.” The terrible noise frightened and confused the bear, scaring it away.

He claims his granddaughter put the ringtone on his phone. Whatever, man, I don’t judge.

– Two tons of WTF: In keeping with the theme of misadventures affecting fishermen, a man in China caught a two-ton whale shark—the largest living species of fish in the world—by accident:

In the Fujian province of China, a fisherman recently lassoed a 4,000-pound, 15-foot whale shark. He didn’t mean to. It just sort of … happened.

In short, the shark got into the net (those nets are huge, BTW), and the fishermen didn’t figure out what had happened until it was too late—although I’m not sure how one throws back a 4,000-lb. fish. Then again, I’m not even remotely a fisherman.

Anyway, once the whale shark was caught, the guy did the logical (or at least the BAMF) thing: he strapped it to the roof of his truck for all the world to see.

The whale shark is designated as “vulnerable,” which is not quite as bad as “endangered.” Hunting them is illegal in some countries, as is buying or selling products derived from them. He may end up with an enormous personal collection of sharkskin boots.

– Keepin’ it classy: Google Play has (or had) a game called “Bomb Gaza,” and you can probably figure out what that entails.

– Maybe not the best way to encourage positive reviews: Did you reserve a block of rooms at a certain hotel for your wedding? Did your guests have a less-than-optimal experience? Did they leave negative reviews on Yelp? If you answered “yes” to all of the questions, that’ll be $500.

Seriously, how could anyone think that’s a good idea?