Sexual harassment was a major issue and topic of discussion at San Diego’s Comic-Con this year, where once again some people had to be reminded that a women dressing up in a possibly-skimpy costume—or any costume, or not in costume at all, for that matter—is not deliberately inviting any particular sort of attention.

To put it in simpler terms, cosplay ≠ consent.

Avicenna has some good observations on the problem:

Now think of it this way. This is something we love. Why would you not want it to be a safe space for women. They are entitled to the same stuff we are and the same safety. If a woman chooses to dress “hot” then sure.

Why would you drive women away from an event and a culture that was once defined by an abject lack of women. Aren’t we glad that we are mainstream? That our movies aren’t just fantasies or crummy but mainstream blockbusters. I mean holy crap, people are still talking about Heath Ledger’s redefining of the Joker. We are no longer weirdoes, we are cool.

And part of that is greater acceptance from groups that once ostracised us and from parts that we never expected. Women have begun to come to these events in greater numbers and they don’t feel welcome.

The sad fact is that many or most of the people who need to hear what he has to say have probably already heard it countless times from women, but are more likely to listen when it comes from a guy. I’ve been guilty of that myself many times.

Some people just refuse to see it that way, though. They can’t seem to get past the “dressing sexy” part, and as a result they portray men as uncontrollable sexual beings at the mercy of women in skimpy Lara Croft costumes (or whatever people are wearing nowadays—I’m actually a terrible geek.) Avicenna quotes one exemplar of male sexual entitlement and frustration:

I know no one agrees with this opinion, but if you walk around with your ass and tits hanging out like a prostitute, you’re going to have to expect that this could happen. Walk into a lion den with a meat suit. Maybe young girls who want to dress like sluts should have the means to defend themselves as well. Or, you know, maybe put some fucking clothes on. – Frank the Tank [Emphasis added.]

First of all, “Frank the Tank”? Really? Maybe “Frank” is just a troll, but that doesn’t make it any better. Avicenna nails the central problem:

Frank when you regard men as nothing but beasts you harm us. You tell us that we cannot control our actions. You make men sound out to be inherently dangerous. We are not lions. We are human beings, and we can say no…It’s simple. If a woman was naked as the day she was born in front of you and did not give you consent to touch her then touching her would be wrong. And if you cannot control yourself then it is you who is the danger rather than her. [Emphasis added.]

If you really, truly believe that men cannot control themselves in such a way, please do the rest of the world a favor and stay indoors. Let those of us who have higher opinions of ourselves prove you wrong.