– Just don’t upset the MCP, please: A woman in China bought an old building, which turned out to house a preserved 1980’s-era arcade spanning two floors.

And yes, that does resemble several important plot points from the Tron sequel. No word on whether she found any old PCs mysteriously still humming along after 20+ years, holding any of her long-lost relatives captive…..or any programs that somehow look like Olivia Wilde.

Regardless, it’s already a better story than the Tron sequel.

– Mallrats of the sea (or pond, I guess): An abandoned shopping mall in Thailand has filled with water and is now home to a large population of koi and catfish. Dibs on naming one of the koi Orange Julius.

– The question everyone no one probably someone was asking: In case you’ve ever wanted to have sex with your iPad (and assuming you have a penis), Fleshlight is here to help:

Have you ever been watching POV videos on your iPad and said to yourself, “This is good, but I really wish there was a way for me to actually physically have sex with this tablet instead of just watching it”? No? Well then you’re in luck, anyway.

Fleshlight, the company behind everybody’s favorite male sex toy, is leaving the world of analog masturbation behind and stepping into the digital age with the Launchpad, the iPad case that gives users “a new perspective on penetration”. That’s right, it’s an iPad case that allows users to literally insert themselves into the action.

Fleshlight uploaded a video to YouTube, which has been removed, to the surprise of precisely nobody.

– Extra crispy, yet soggy: A KFC in the UK served a customer a deep-fried hand wipe. You read that right.

In Newcastle, England a mother and child were served a deep-fried hand wipe instead of a piece of chicken at one of KFC’s locations.

I, um, uh……..ew.