Seriously, no one ever even mentions music at Coachella. It’s all about fashion, trends that everyone will look back on in embarrassment, and unforgivable neologisms like “Coachella diet” and “smuicing.” (I promise I will never use that word again, ever.)

Even the fashion aspects, to judge from the pictures, make it look like Coachella consists entirely of skinny hipster chicks without sweat glands standing in the middle of remarkably empty and green fields. Oh yeah, and white people in headdresses, because fuck history.

It wouldn’t surprise me at this point to learn that the whole thing is just staged by New York fashion designers. I mean, I don’t think I know anyone who’s been to Coachella, so how do I know it actually exists???

I’m not even sure why I wrote this post. Now get off my lawn.

Photo credit: License to Boot [CC BY 2.0], via Flickr.