– You can motivate students to do almost anything with free food, I guess: The majority of students at one Michigan middle school said in an essay test that they’d rather be slaves than factory workers, because of the free room and board. The school’s response, of course, is to stop asking that question on that essay test.

– There’s nothing left here to remind me, just the memory of, uh…: Man, the power of Phil Collins is strong in this one:

This weekend, the Des Plaines Oasis–a rest stop type thingie along the Jane Addams Tollway in Illinois–will close its doors forever. Most people will not care so much. But most people are not 21 year-old Kevin Walters.

Walters, in a one-man protest, has chained himself to the doorway of the Oasis to prevent it from being knocked down forever, on account of the fact that he was conceived there after his parents got frisky following a Phil Collins concert in Chicago.

– Mind if we have a few naked friends over? I’m not all that familiar with Airbnb, but I’ve heard you can make some bank renting out your place. If you do, though, just make sure your renters aren’t planning a “BBW Panty Raid Party” or “XXX Freak Fest.”

– Living the dream. Two of them, actually: Here’s a guy who managed to draw the public’s attention to The People’s Court, which is apparently still on the air somewhere, while living the dream of tween boys everywhere:

Meet the man who just lived the lifelong dream of anyone who ever attended a public middle school. We’ve all fantasized about pulling off a classic “Deez Nuts” joke on TV, but this guy actually went out and did it.