– The balance on his mortgage vastly exceeded the number of fucks he gave: A Bulgarian man was about to lose his house to foreclosure. Since the bank’s lien only covered the house, not the land, he decided to deliver the house to them—in pieces.

– Also giving no fucks (so to speak): In England, a man was arrested for driving while naked and while, uh, otherwise occupied. His lawyer gets props for his willingness to seriously push that fine line between “explanation” and “excuse”:

DRIVING ON a busy 100kmh [60 mph for us Yankees -CP] road normally requires two hands on the steering wheel.

But Neal Marshall was caught masturbating, and totally naked, while driving along the M56 motorway, in Chester, England, the Chester Chronicle reported.

Marshall’s solicitor [that’s English for “lawyer” -CP] Adrian Evans told Chester Magistrates Court today (AEDT) that his 49-year-old client got “carried away” when engaged in a “messaging conversation”.

“This does not excuse his actions but it goes a way to explain why he was seen doing it,” said Mr Evans.

“He bitterly regrets his actions. He never intended to be seen by a member of the public.”

– Different from a “food baby”: This week I learned that a “stone baby” is an actual thing (h/t Jason).

– You heard it here: “Remote-controlled cyborg sperm.”

– This week in neologisms: From io9, I learned the word “hankle.”