Greg Abbott never could decide exactly how to respond to the stunt planned by his former staffer, Lorenzo Garcia, who is currently the UT chapter chair of Young Conservatives of Texas. As Joe Deshotel describes at Burnt Orange Report, he first threw Garcia under the bus, but then decided this was a good opportunity for political cheap shots. Most notable, of course, was his attempt to resurrect the “Hail Satan” nontroversy from this summer. He couldn’t even do that right, of course, claiming that it was a series of chants during Wendy Davis’ filibuster. It actually occurred during the protests that started with the second special session, and by all appearances it was actually a handful (at most) of kids who clearly did not realize that many people would actually take them seriously.

I tried to find any media coverage of the incident that wasn’t overblown and sensational. U.S. News and World Report called it heckling, which seems fair. The Blaze offered a grudgingly fair assessment with a shout-out to the nutters: “Obviously, it is much more likely that the abortion supporters were chanting ‘Hail Satan!’ to mock pro-lifers rather than actually hailing Lucifer, but anything is possible.” Of course, Natural News (via Infowars, of course), let the crazy fly:

Obviously, not all abortion activists are Satan worshippers, but you’ll notice that none of them have denounced the Satanists, either. By failing to denounce it, they effectively embrace and welcome Satan worship as part of their cause. [Emphasis in original.]

Somewhat hilariously, the episode drew the ire of actual Satanists:

Unfortunate to see Satan's name used in such a diabolical manner. Another example of what 'Satanism' doesn't represent. #HailSatan

— UK Church of Satan (@UKChurchofSatan) July 3, 2013

I’m hardly an expert on the actual Church of Satan, and I have no idea if the U.K. Church of Satan has any affiliation with the similarly-named organization in the U.S.—my impression, though, is that they are more about a particular strain of libertarianism than any actual devil worship. I think black eyeliner also plays a big role. Point being, neither the organization nor actual devil worship (to the extent such a thing even occurs at all) has nothing to do with the chants of some idiot kids at the Texas Capitol.

But who gives a crap about all that if you have a talking point, right? Poopgate was a bust because people actually demanded evidence in support of the claims that someone planned on throwing feces. The Texas Department of Public Safety went to heroic efforts to cover their asses and hide the fact that they had no evidence, but eventually they had to admit that, while there may have at some point been an allegation of poop, no one ever actually confiscated any. The benefit of the “Hail Satan” thing for right-wingers is that someone actually said “Hail Satan,” so all they have to do is pretend that it’s a big deal.

Greg Abbott is already a colossal embarrassment to Texas, which is notable considering how many embarrassing politicians we have. It’s not surprising that he’d latch onto this, but it’s telling that this is apparently the best he could do.

UPDATE, September 11, 2017: Removed image found to be in violation of Google AdSense policies.