This Week in WTF, August 30, 2013

– Proving once again that the lives of obscenely rich New Yorkers are a complete mystery to me, people are paying $1,500 per square foot for basement storage space in a fancy high-rise under construction. Considering the $300,000 price tag for a 200 square foot space is less than 1% of the cost of some of the building’s units, it’s a relative bargain. Of course, if Bane ever takes over Manhattan, I don’t want to be anywhere near this building.

– Someone stole a Vancouver woman’s bicycle, then posted an ad for it on Craigslist. The woman responded to the ad, met the seller/thief in a McDonald’s parking lot, and did what any Canadian BAMF would do: she stole the bike back.

This happened:

At least one million cockroaches have escaped a farm in China where they were being bred for use in traditional medicine, a report said.

Commence heebie-jeebies.

– That Video Music Awards thing. Now let us never speak of it again.

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“Baby on Board” Means Never Having to Say You’re Sorry

By Vinu raj at Malayalam Wikipedia (Own work) [Public domain], via Wikimedia CommonsAbout a week ago, someone flagrantly cut me off on the feeder road of the highway near my house – to the point where they probably would have clipped my front bumper if I hadn’t braked in time.

Aside from the fact that it was a small white car, the only thing I noticed was a “Baby on Board” sign affixed to the back window of the car. I’d be tempted to think that the car was stolen, but it’s equally plausible that anyone who would drive around with a “Baby on Board” sign in their car in 2013 is just that much of an asshole.

Photo credit: By Vinu raj at Malayalam Wikipedia (Own work) [Public domain], via Wikimedia Commons.

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Judge in Montana Affirms the Notion that a Man Cannot Be Trusted with His Own Genitalia

Once again, the legal system has accepted the notion that certain men simply cannot stop themselves from having sex with others, regardless of how the others feel about it. It really should go without saying that consent is a required aspect of sex, but somehow people don’t get that message. Beyond all the harm this “boys will be boys” bullshit causes to others, how long does it have to go on before men start realizing just how damaging, and insulting, it is to men? If you have sex with someone without the other person’s consent, and you claim that the other person was somehow at fault, you are claiming that you can’t control your own genitalia. Thanks to male privilege, of course, this never gets imputed to all men, but that doesn’t stop a lot of guys from trying.

A Montana state judge sentenced a former teacher to about a month in jail, while suspending the remainder of his fifteen-year sentence, after he pleaded guilty to having sex with a student when he was 49 and she was 14. District Judge G. Todd Baugh of Yellowstone County reportedly stated in court that the girl was “as much in control of the situation” as the teacher, and that she was “older than her chronological age.” The defendant, Stacy Dean Rambold, reportedly pleaded guilty to a felony charge in April. The case had been deferred for several years, until prosecutors learned that Rambold’s sex offender treatment program had terminated him. The actual incident took place in 2008. The victim committed suicide in 2010.

Here’s the deal: statutory rape laws generally operate on a theory of strict liability, meaning that knowledge of an alleged victim’s age is not a required element of the crime. This can hypothetically lead to injustice in a case where, say, an alleged victim goes to great lengths to conceal their true age, and the defendant is genuinely unaware of their age. I don’t know how common or how rare such occurrences are, but it doesn’t matter here, because this teacher knew damn well that this student was 14 years old, well under the age of consent for Montana.

The judge’s statements, as reported in the media, are actually worse than the standard narrative of victim-blaming, because the victim, Cherice Morales was not there to defend herself, because she committed suicide at the age of 17. The Missoulian reported:

Baugh said he listened to recorded statements given by Morales before her death and believes that while she was a troubled youth, she was “as much in control of the situation” as Rambold.

The judge also said Morales was “older than her chronological age.”

A judge listens to recorded statements made by a teenager, who was probably in a state of distress, three years after she made them, and concludes that she had the same legal and moral agency as an adult, specifically a schoolteacher, who was 49 years old at the time the offense occurred. He even specifically mentioned that she was a “troubled youth” in assessing, by some unknown metric, her non-chronological age.

I get that there is a certain—extremely limited—nuance to cases involving statutory rape, only in the sense that an alleged victim who is fifteen minutes away from attaining their state’s age of consent presents different issues than someone years younger. There is no clear dividing line in this regard, but again, it doesn’t matter in this case, because the victim was 14 years old.

To say that she was “as much in control” as a 49 year-old teacher, who has presumably had extensive education and training in how to interact with children, is to say that this teacher lacks the ability to control himself. The judge apparently did not elaborate on how the victim’s control of the situation played into what happened between the teacher and her, and we really don’t want to revisit it. That said, however, is this a warning that young girls need to be on guard against their own teachers, because those teachers will not always be expected to be the responsible adult?

If you have such little control over yourself as this former teacher, you need to seek help or remove yourself from society. I generally think our system of sex offender laws is completely screwed up, but this strikes as one case where they got it right. An evaluation reportedly said that this guy is “a low risk to re-offend and could be treated in the community,” but by his own admission, he has self-control problems around young teenagers.

I should also mention the defense’s line of argument. I generally don’t fault defense attorneys for using whatever reasonable defense is available, so my beef is with the mere fact that anyone would consider this defense to be reasonable at all:

Reminiscent of the Steubenville rape case earlier this year, the defendant’s attorney’s launched into “the poor rapist” line of defense, citing that the publicity surrounding the rape had cost Mr. Rambold his job, his marriage and his home and that he had suffered the equivalent of a “scarlet letter of the Internet”. Imagine that. A school teacher lost his job after raping a 14 year-old student three times and to add insult to injury his wife left him too. Damn that publicity, why will we as a nation and a community not just let him rape little girls in peace?

To give you a sense of setting, this all happened in Yellowstone County, Montana, where another county official is currently facing accusation of plagiarizing a letter to the editor he submitted to the Billings Gazette entitled “Why I hate Barack and Michelle Obama.”

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Porn and Prejudice: Exploring the Darker Side of Online Searches

If you’re at all like me, you’ve never wondered what the most common search terms are on the world’s biggest online source of occasionally-copyright-infringing porn. And yet I find myself noticing that PornHub (the site I just described in admittedly less-than-flattering terms) released data about what people are searching for on their site. The data include the most common search term used in each state on the site, and the average amount of time spent on the site (which streams videos, YouTube-style).

The winners for longest time spent on the site are Mississippi and Hawaii, with an average of over 11 minutes and 48 seconds per visit. New Hampshire, Vermont, and Rhode Island users clock and average of ten minutes or less. Read into all of that whatever you will, especially the part about Mississippi.

The more interesting aspect of the search, at least to me, is the identification of popular search terms. This presumably only covers the one site, so it’s not even remotely a scientific sample, but it’s interesting nonetheless. A revision to PornHub’s map is color-coded to highlight search terms: Continue reading

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“Social Welfare,” Loosely Defined

501c4 by Hollywata [CC BY-ND 2.0], on FlickrThe Tea Party might have been right about the IRS improperly applying the law, just not in the way they think. As opposed to the discredited claim-that-will-not-die that the IRS targeted Tea Party groups, and only Tea Party groups, a new lawsuit alleges that the agency is not correctly applying the requirements of the Internal Revenue Code for “social welfare organizations,” known as 501(c)(4) groups. Van Hollen, et al v. Internal Revenue Service, et al, No. 1:13-cv-01276, complaint (D.D.C., Aug. 21, 2013) (I love using legal citation forms that probably aren’t quite right, on the off chance that someone on a law review reads this and gets all eye-twitchy.)

Here’s the actual statute defining a 501(c)(4) tax-exempt organization:

(4)(A) Civic leagues or organizations not organized for profit but operated exclusively for the promotion of social welfare, or local associations of employees, the membership of which is limited to the employees of a designated person or persons in a particular municipality, and the net earnings of which are devoted exclusively to charitable, educational, or recreational purposes.

(B) Subparagraph (A) shall not apply to an entity unless no part of the net earnings of such entity inures to the benefit of any private shareholder or individual.

26 U.S.C. § 501(c)(4) (emphasis added).

The regulation that the IRS uses to interpret and enforce that statute specifically states that “direct or indirect participation or intervention in political campaigns” for or against a candidate does not constitute “the promotion of social welfare.” 26 C.F.R. § 1.501(c)(4)-1(a)(2)(ii).

Here’s how the regulation defines “promotion of social welfare”: Continue reading

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Opinions Are Like A**h*les

One tendency I’ve noticed, and that I may have been guilty of (hopefully only) in the past, is that some guys, almost invariably white guys my age or older, are so used to being able to spout their opinions with a minimum of criticism or blowback, however idiotic those opinions might be, that they react very poorly to being called out, particularly by a woman. I don’t think most of them are even aware of what they are actually doing, which almost makes it worse than if they would just admit that they don’t like being corrected in public by a girl.

People in general, but especially conservatives, have gotten very postmodern about their “opinions.” Any refusal to hear what someone else has to say is viewed as intolerance or closed-mindedness – an accusation that the speaker almost never levels at him- or herself, by the way. It never crosses their mind that you might not want to consider Fox News’ opinions because they have nothing to say that you haven’t heard, considered, and dismissed thousands of times before. Continue reading

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An 8 Year-Old Shoots and Kills Someone After Playing Grand Theft Auto – So of Course It’s the Video Game’s Fault, Right?

Via retrogamingtimes.com

Video games were responsible for a glut in the suburban lemonade market in the early 1980’s (Via retrogamingtimes.com)

In a truly tragic story, an eight year-old boy in Louisiana shot and killed an elderly woman, identified as his 87 year-old “caregiver.” According to CNN, the boy shot the woman in the back of the head shortly after playing Grand Theft Auto IV. You might be tempted to think “How did an eight year-old kid get a loaded gun?” is the most important question, but you’d be wrong. CNN notes that the gun belonged to the woman, but that’s about all it says about the gun. The article is all about how the video game might have driven the boy to murder, because the truly important question is what sort of media influence might inspire a young child to kill his caregiver (except don’t say anything about the gun itself).

While the motive is unclear, the sheriff’s department implied the child’s activities in a violent virtual world may have led to the killing.

“Although a motive for the shooting is unknown at this time investigators have learned that the juvenile suspect was playing a video game on the Play Station III ‘Grand Theft Auto IV,’ a realistic game that has been associated with encouraging violence and awards points to players for killing people, just minutes before the homicide occurred.”

Did you notice the part of the story CNN left out? The part where the kid picked up a loaded gun.

The article goes on to provide denials from the video game industry, but lets the other side have the last several words. Continue reading

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Monday Morning Cute: The Sharkcat and Its Steed

The sight of a cat dressed in a shark costume riding a Roomba around the kitchen will never, ever get old.

A cat dressed as a shark riding a Roomba

Unless you’re dead inside or something.

Even Forbes has discussed shark-cat, albeit in a way that makes me suspect the writer’s grandkids taught him how to use the internet so he could write the article.

Just give in to the power of shark-cat.

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This Week in WTF, August 23, 2013

By Boss Tweed (Maria Sharapova at the 2007 US Open) [CC-BY-2.0 (http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/2.0)], via Wikimedia Commons– Tennis player Maria Sharapova is reportedly trying to change her name, solely for the duration of the U.S. Open, in order to promote a candy company. What would her temporary new name be? Maria Sugarpova. Unless someone set up an entire company website to make a bad pun, this is not a joke.

– I think this headline stands on its own: “Florida man attacks mom’s boyfriend with Samurai sword over missing can of shrimp.”

– This headline, too: “‘Ghostbuster’ arrested for conducting exorcism with penis” (h/t Bob).

– The carnivorous caterpillar. Yes, it feasts on flesh. (Insect flesh, but still.) The story at io9 has animated GIFs, which I am too squeamish to post here.

Photo credit: By Boss Tweed (Maria Sharapova at the 2007 US Open) [CC-BY-2.0], via Wikimedia Commons.

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Comparing Apples to Oranges in Oklahoma

The Wall Street Journal’s editorial staff is asking why Al Sharpton, et al, are not devoting the same amount of attention to the murder of Christopher Lane in Oklahoma, allegedly by three bored teenagers, as they did to the George Zimmerman case. The editorial begins as follows:

Three teenagers were charged Tuesday in the killing of a white college student in Duncan, Oklahoma…

(Emphasis added to make my point as painfully obvious as possible.) That’s not even the entire first sentence, but it has already explained how this case is different from Zimmerman’s case. To be clear, Lane’s death is a tragedy and a horrible crime that deserves thorough investigation and punishment of the guilty parties. (I shouldn’t have to add that caveat, but I suspect someone somewhere will try to say I don’t care as much about this case.)

Here’s how it’s different: the suspects in Lane’s death are already in custody and facing criminal charges, including murder. Trayvon Martin died on February 26, 2012, but Zimmerman wasn’t arrested until April 11, 45 days later.

No one is disputing that what the three teenagers allegedly did is a crime.

So far, no one has tried to claim that the three teenagers in Oklahoma acted in self-defense, and no one will ever be able to make that claim plausibly. The Zimmerman case involved the killing of a black teenager (who was not committing any crime) by an overzealous neighborhood watch volunteer who, for reasons we’ll likely never know for sure, thought he looked “suspicious.” The narrative of people finding young black men “suspicious,” just for being young black men, plays itself out every day in this country. Certain people are seizing on the fact that the Lane case involves a young white man killed by three young black men as a sleazy way of trying to create a false equivalence with the Zimmerman case, or to fabricate some kind of “both sides do it” narrative.

It’s pretty sickening, really.

Think of it this way: many people expressed a high level of skepticism about the allegation that Zimmerman was motivated by Martin’s race. See if those same people apply the same high level of skepticism to the Lane case.

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