When liberal fascists form a mob, they do so in an orderly, color-coordinated fashion. (© @OFA_UT/Twitter)

We’ve all heard about how an “unruly mob” disrupted the Texas Senate last week, and how all the beleaguered rich white dudes were scared. We’ve also heard how someone allegedly doctored the voting records to make it look like the vote on SB5 took place before midnight on June 25, when in fact it occurred after midnight on June 26 (and therefore after the expiration of the Legislature’s special session.)

One of these is a group of citizens making noise for about ten minutes inside a public building to express discontent with some pretty shady legislative practices. The other is felony falsification of public documents. Which one do you think state Republican leaders are choosing to make an issue?

Lt. Governor David Dewhurst, a Republican considered not crazy enough by the people who chose to run Ted Cruz for the U.S. Senate, is apparently trying to make up for lost time by threatening criminal investigations and, perhaps, prosecutions against those who “attempt[ed] to hijack the legislative process” last Tuesday night. He has very graciously decided not to have members of the media arrested, after asking his staff to review the tapes of the proceedings based on accusations that people “had seen different members of the press who were trying to incite the crowd.”

He and Texas Attorney General Greg Abbott, a/k/a Abbott & Dewhurst, may still opt to bring charges against the University of Texas undergraduate student who led protesters in “The Eyes of Texas.” Yes, in Abbott & Dewhurst’s world, leading a crowd of people in a school song constitutes “inciting a riot.”

There is no indication of an actual “riot” occurring, and to me, their characterization of Tuesday night as “mob-rule politics” is an insult to leaders around this country who have dealt with actual riots. It is most definitely an insult to the hundreds or thousands of people at the Capitol that night who did. not. riot.

Dewhurst called out what sounded like a round of Right-Wing Bingo in Dallas on Saturday, claiming that the people in the Capitol “were whipped into a frenzy by the international socialist organization, the occupy movement, Planned Parenthood, and the ACLU to disrupt our legislative session.” (The “international socialist organization”??? Are you even trying anymore, Mr. Lt. Governor?)

People on the right seem determined to characterize what happened Tuesday as a “mob” or “riot” resulting from outside influence. The North Texas Tea Party (which might be an actual organization, or might just be a Facebook page for a blog—it’s unclear) also attributed the movement to “Occupy and socialist organizers.” And boy, are they organized! NTTP is warning people that “there are indications of large bus/transportation coordination as well as logistics support in the form of food trucks, etc.” News flash, dude. Food trucks are everywhere in Austin. The crux of their argument, however, seems to be the allegation that the upcoming protests will involve “lots people coming in from out of state to take control of OUR state government…[in] an attempt to institute liberal fascism.”

Fascism??? Whatever, dude. Have a peanut.

Yes, “liberal fascism.” I hope Jonah Goldberg sues whomever wrote that.

I suppose they have to blame this on out-of-state elements, because otherwise they would have to admit that large portions of the Texas population (most of it, I’d say) do not see the world the way they do.

I’m not even going to dignify their supposed plan to use “Gandhi-style tactics.”