I could have written this post without showing headless, topless beautiful people, but where’s the fun in that? (Via hollywood.com)
I still own a few articles of clothing that I obtained at the Abercrombie & Fitch store in the Houston Galleria around 1997 or 1998. Shortly after that time period, I realized that the store no longer had anything to offer me. Around 1997, Abercrombie & Fitch was best described as a slightly fancier Eddie Bauer, a style that might still suit me to this day. One day, probably in 1999, I went into the Houston store and found myself knee- to waist-deep in douche. Not literally, of course, but the store seemed to have abruptly changed from a place that offered durable clothes that appealed to me (as evidenced by the fact that some of the clothes I got there have held on for 16+ years) to a place where beautiful people go to feel superior.
We have known for a long time that the current CEO of the company is a douchenozzle, and that he has designed a store for his fellow douchenozzles:
As far as [Mike] Jeffries is concerned, America’s unattractive, overweight or otherwise undesirable teens can shop elsewhere. “In every school there are the cool and popular kids, and then there are the not-so-cool kids,” he says. “Candidly, we go after the cool kids. We go after the attractive all-American kid with a great attitude and a lot of friends. A lot of people don’t belong [in our clothes], and they can’t belong. Are we exclusionary? Absolutely. Those companies that are in trouble are trying to target everybody: young, old, fat, skinny. But then you become totally vanilla. You don’t alienate anybody, but you don’t excite anybody, either.”
Recently, the company has been under fire for not even bothering to sell women’s XL sizes, which has brought Jeffries’ pontifications on coolness and beauty back to the fore. It has also given many of us an opportunity. More on that later.
In a heartfelt and moving piece at Huffington Post, Sara Taney Humphries writes to Jeffries:
Shame on you for perpetuating the bully on the playground mentality, in the online community and with our youth. The message you are sending is reprehensible and an appalling waste of an opportunity. You could have chosen to use your power and position to promote tolerance and love. Instead, you chose to promote and validate bullies. Your campaign is telling our young people that it’s perfectly acceptable to exclude someone because of the size of their body.
Via amquix.info
You know who Mike Jeffries reminds me of? A Star-Bellied Sneetch. In the Dr. Seuss story, the Star-Bellied Sneetches lord over the Plain-Bellied Sneetches, feeling that Star-Bellies are superior just because. A con man comes along and offers to put stars on the Plain-Bellies, then take them off the Star-Bellies, and on and on until no one can tell each other apart and they realize they’re all the same deep down, the end. I always wondered why the Plain-Bellied Sneetches couldn’t just enjoy one another’s company and live without the Star-Bellies’ approval, but the story really isn’t that complex. Still, I always felt like if the Plain-Bellied Sneetches could just find a way to stand up for themselves, they could take away the power that having a star gave to the other Sneetches. The Star-Bellies were only on top because they said so, after all.
Dr. Seuss wrote the story as a satire of racism, anti-Semitism, and other forms of discrimination, so the real-life issues that inspired it are far more complicated than stars on a belly. Reading the story as a child, though, I always rooted for the Plain-Bellies to stand up and refuse to recognize the star as a sign of superiority.
Jeffries is one of the unrepentantly haughty Star-Bellies at the beginning of the story, but instead of a star, he has an Abercrombie & Fitch label. He sells those labels to other Star-Bellies, so that they can identify one another. We, however, can also identify them.
People who do not meet Mike Jeffries’ narrow view of coolness have a ready means of identifying who is worth their time and attention: people who do not bear the label of Abercrombie & Fitch. It is quite thoughtful of the world’s douchecanoes to mark themselves so, as it makes identifying them that much easier.
And yes, knowing what we all know about the company now, if you continue to wear the company’s clothes, the world will know you as a fellow doucherocket. Now if you will excuse me, I have some 16+ year-old clothing to donate to charity, since it shouldn’t have to be expensive to dress like a douche.
UPDATE (May 15, 2013): Shortly after I finished writing this post, I cam across the story of the guy who is donating Abercrombie & Fitch clothing to the homeless. I found his video to be a bit over-the-top, but he did a good job of showing me up by actually doing what I only mockingly suggest.
Photo credits: © Abercrombie & Fitch, via hollywood.com; Dr. Seuss, via amquix.info.
