A horrifying piece on xoJane by Joanna Clark recounts her experience at an optometrist’s office in her hometown, in which the doctor and two technicians locked her in a room and prayed with her without giving her any real opportunity to opt out. Her story is compelling, but the background of her story particularly jumped out at me:
As religiously unidentified liberals in the third most Bible-minded city in the United States, my family has always been very conscious of how we deal with discussions of religion. I grew up learning that I needed to respect other religions while keeping quiet about my own beliefs.
As far as my parents were concerned, I could choose any religion that suited me, and we even attended services at a Unitarian Universalist church for years before deciding that we just weren’t very committed. In elementary school, my mom briefed me on proper religion-talk etiquette. I was supposed to be vague and accommodating, never mentioning my own affiliations, or lack thereof. I should listen and nod, but offer as little information about myself as possible.
She and my dad would accept whatever decisions I made about my own faith, but others would probably not be so understanding.
It’s this “keeping quiet” aspect that has bothered me for a very long time. Nonbelievers, or even people who simply do not wish to pursue an active religious life, are not exactly welcome in many parts of America. I am a strong believer in not deliberately trying to deconvert someone without their express invitation. This means, of course, that if you ask me what I believe, I’m going to tell you until you tell me to stop, and you have no right to get angry if I say things that contradict your faith. I wish people who are so eager to spread their own version of the Gospel or whatever they wish to call it were so observant (or at least aware) of the boundaries the rest of us have had to develop.
When Christians talk about being “oppressed” in America today, I have to laugh, because the alternative would be screaming at what a phenomenally inane concept that is. Few American-born Christians have the first clue what real oppression looks like. Nonbelievers (of which atheists are one category) are not oppressed in America the way many other groups are, but the message many children seem to be getting is that if you do not believe exactly as certain groups of Christians do, you are somehow less.
Anyway, I have yet to hear of an atheist or agnostic optometrist locking a teenager in an exam room and reading selections from Cosmos to her.
