– Obie, a 5 year-old Dachshund from Oregon, weighs seventy-seven pounds, qualifying him as “morbidly obese.” His elderly owners, whose health was failing, reportedly couldn’t properly care for him anymore, so they “loved him with food.” They eventually gave Obie to Oregon Dachshund Rescue, where he is getting some serious rehabilitation. Good luck, little guy!

– The owner of an Arlington, Texas strip club called “Flashdancer” (the club, not the owner) pleaded guilty to, uh, just read it:

The owner of an Arlington, Texas strip club pleaded guilty Thursday to trying to hire hitmen to kill the mayor and a Dallas attorney, after the city forced his club to close.

– In a poll that asked likely voters in Ohio who was more responsible for the death of Osama bin Laden: Barack Obama or Mitt Romney………..hold on a second. Let me begin with a declaratory WTF that a poll even poses a question about apportioning credit  for the death of Osama bin Laden between the President of the United States and an unemployed guy. Who comes up with this stuff? Was it a practical joke on Ohio? At any rate, fifteen percent of Ohio Republicans seem to think that Romney deserves more credit than President Obama, presumably because shut up you socialist.

– A Hooters restaurant in Queens now faces a lawsuit after a server allegedly printed an unkind racial slur on a receipt for a Korean-American couple. A 17 year-old hostess apparently confessed and promptly resigned.

– Four Americans died in Libya this week, and of course it is affecting the presidential campaign. I don’t really want to talk about it right now.