I saw this on my Facebook feed the other day, and I’m still trying to figure it out. Are men supposed to drop everything, at any given moment, to look at breasts? That doesn’t seem like much of a way to build a productive society.

This is similar to the “gay test” meme, in which your choice of whether to look at a hottie or some other object apparently determines whether or not you are gay, with the implication that being gay is a Bad Thing.

I’m betting that more than likely you have seen some variation of the “Gay Test”. The basic premise of it is to take some sort of image of an attractive woman, point out something that is considered to be of less importance than attractive women (and apparently EVERYTHING ELSE is less important than an attractive woman) and declare that if a guy notices that other thing before noticing the attractive woman then it’s a sign that he is gay, which is apparently bad news.

Yea I’m sure you can see how this is jacked up on so many levels right? Don’t worry I’m going to go over them.

For the most part these “tests” depict women that fit the bill of being conventionally attractive. White, thin, young, blond, large breasts and butts, revealing clothing, possibly in a sexually suggestive position (of a notable exception are the ones that are based on anime where the women change from white to Asian, the hair can be any color under the sun, and the laws of probability, physics, and reasonable comfort are suspended when it comes to breasts).

Aside from the considerations of objectification, overt homophobia, and the simple fact that everyone has their own unique ideas of what is worthy of leering at, there could be any number of reasons not to stare. In the photo above, for all we know the guys in the background are old high school/college/war buddie reunited for the first time in years. No offense to Anonymous Breast Lady, but friendship carries a lot of weight. Besides, she’s facing away from them.

In the photo accompanying the “gay meme” article, the choice is between staring at a conventionally attractive woman in a bikini and an aircraft carrier. You can see might be the edge of a dock, but it sort of looks like the aircraft carrier just drifted over to the beach. Is it really so unusual to think “Hey, girl in bikini and holy shit an aircraft carrier just washed up on the beach!!!!!”

Or maybe I’m overthinking it.