This makes up for any shortcomings this show might ever have. Ever.

(At this point, I have no idea if this post will contain spoilers.)

I’ve been kind of a douche about this show, and for that I apologize. See, I have been watching this show with rapt attention, but also with my ass puckered up over its various divergences from the books, as if I could somehow control a scripted television show’s faithfulness to its source material through the sheer power of my sphincter.

Since last April, I have felt a compulsive need to compare the two media, in a very hipsteresque effort to prove my bona fides as an early-adopting Game of Thrones fan. I have little doubt that I have annoyed some people. When someone asks me where they are taking Arya and Gendry, all they really want to know is that it’s called Harrenhal, and it’s a big castle people think is haunted. They do not necessarily need to know why people think it is haunted, or that Harren completed it right before the invasion of Aegon the Conqueror, or any of the other random bits of trivia I could pull from my puckered behind.

I can thank Christina H. at Cracked, whose article “6 Common Movie Arguments That Are Always Wrong” addresses the common trope among fanboys that “it all makes sense if you read the comics.” Substitute “series of books” for “comics” and “television show” for “movie” and her analysis is spot-on:

The thing is, you shouldn’t have to do homework or required reading before seeing a movie in order to understand it. Movies are a story in a roughly two-hour package, and they have to use those two hours to let you know who’s who, what’s going on and why you should care. Even James Bond movies usually spend the first sequence showing you how good he is at killing people and how he always gets a free woman to sleep with afterward, for the two audience members unfamiliar with how James Bond works.

You’re supposed to relax and let the movie take you on a ride into its world. Movies are sold as an escape, not as another source of obligation. Can you imagine being asked to go see the latest Harry Potter movie and having to tell your friends, “Oh, I can’t. I’ve been trying really hard to cram for it, but I’ve still got 10 chapters to read. I’ve just been so busy this week …” and them shaking their heads in disappointment at you? Or watching Star Wars Episode II knowing you’ve not only wasted the two and a half hours watching the actual movie but the two weeks of studying the comics in preparation for it?
I can understand wanting to get further into the universe of some movie if you really enjoyed it, or being able to get more tidbits about your favorite character from additional stories, but it should be optional. You shouldn’t have to stare bewildered at some character exploding for no apparent reason as a penalty for not doing your homework.

Several people asked me, during the lead-up to “Game of Thrones” season 1, if I thought they should read the books before trying to watch the show. Of course, I think everyone should read the books because they are awesome, but consider this: a television show that requires you to read a 700+ page book in order to understand its first season would be a fucking terrible television show.

The truth is that it is inevitable that the show will diverge from the books, and that was very much on display in this past Sunday’s episode. This is not supposed to be a shot-for-shot adaptation of the books. This is a television show. It can’t follow the book precisely, but it can maintain the themes. It is also the truth that the divergences from the books are likely to be a pretty freaking awesome ride. George R.R. Martin has created a brilliant epic, and D.B. Weiss and David Benioff have done a brilliant job adapting it for television, far better than I think most fans could have imagined. I can have an opinion about how well or how faithfully they adapt the story, but no one owes me a damn thing, beginning with the people who tend to have to listen to my crap. The producers don’t owe me much in that regard, either. To quote another brilliant writer, Neil Gaiman, answering a question about Martin’s slow (okay, glacial) pace in finishing recent volumes in the series, “George R.R. Martin is not your bitch.”

John Anealio turned this into a rather catchy song:

I will visit a few divergences that stuck out to me this week, for they were many, and they were stark (pun intended), and then I will shut the fuck up about it and just watch the damn show. (I’ll still offer commentary, but I’ll focus more on the actual show.)

I only have two major comments about this episode. First, they really phoned in the whole fall of Winterfell thing, but at least we got to see Osha naked (she was in some of the Harry Potter movies, so it seemed extra naughty somehow). Second, I hope they don’t skip over the relationship between Sansa and the Hound (no, not that kind of relationship.)

Moving on to the divergences: as many people know, season one was a remarkably faithful adaptation of the first book in the series, entitled A Game of Thrones. The story centered on three locations: King’s Landing, the Wall, and Vaes Dothrak (with occasional bits of “meanwhile, at Winterfell…”) We are now on to the second volume, A Clash of Kings, but the storylines have now diverged to include many more locations, including Harrenhal, Pyke, wherever Robb Stark’s army is, wherever Stannis Baratheon’s army is, and Qarth. It’s only going to get broader in scope.

The thing about A Clash of Kings is that several key characters really don’t do anything interesting throughout the book. What I mainly remember from the book is the political maneuvering between Tyrion and Cersei. What I don’t remember is anything especially interesting from Jon Snow, who spent the whole book slogging though the ice. When you come down to it, Daenerys does not do very much in Qarth (in the book) that would work well on screen (I wonder if they will even try to show the House of the Undying…) Robb Stark wins quite a few battles, but (a) the book barely depicts those, and (b) the show probably doesn’t have the budget for that. Jaime Lannister spends the entire second book chained up in a dungeon. This does not, my friends, good television make.

The major divergences that I noticed involved these characters. I also note that Littlefinger is serving to draw these storylines closer together. Without giving much away, he gives ideas to certain characters that, in the books, they come up with on their own, but much later on.

The Case of Daenerys’ Missing Dragons. No, it’s not in the book, but we need some sort of action in Qarth. This ought to make a good story. I’m mainly curious about the minor characters orbiting Daenerys. By this point in A Clash if Kings, Doreah has died of dehydration in the Red Waste, and Irri and Rakharo are still alive. We don’t know for sure what happened to Doreah in the show at the moment, but Irri certainly looks dead, and Rakharo is definitely dead. It doesn’t exactly throw everything out of alignment, though. At least one fan has an intriguing theory pointing the finger at Doreah (which I very much doubt.) (It was Pyat Pree, duh.)

Robb and the Volantene girl. She’s not in the books, so I have no idea where they are going with this.

Jon Snow and Ygritte. This is just starting way earlier than I expected. Also, where the hell is Ygritte’s catchphrase?

Sansa and Shae. Also a relationship not depicted in the book, but I like that they’ve given Sansa someone she thinks she can open up to but really shouldn’t.

Jaqen as hit man? Jaqen H’ghar is one of my favorite non-major characters. Just saying.

Roose Bolton asking permission to re-take Winterfell. Since when does Roose Bolton ask permission to do anything?